Russian Orthodox Leader Sprays Holy Water on Government Computers to Stop WannaCry Attack

Over the weekend, the WannaCry ransomware attack targeted Microsoft Windows systems across the globe, even disrupting hospitals in Britain.

But Russia won’t have to worry about anything like that happening because the Orthodox Church’s Patriarch Kirill apparently visited the Ministry of Internal Affairs and sprayed holy water on the computers.

They can hack our political campaigns, but they think spraying water on computers is a smart move… #Logic

It won’t do any good, obviously, and I suspect the government let Kirill work his magic because he’s a powerful figure in the country. I think the government official standing in the middle of the room with the “you’ve got to be kidding me” look speaks for all of us.

Kirill has previous blamed the rise of ISIS on the “godless, secular” civilization in which we live. Also: Pride parades. He also thinks marriage equality is a “very dangerous sign of the apocalypse.”

And now he’s adding to his bullshit-filled toolbox with holy water. Because who needs a white hat when you have religious headgear at your disposal?

(Thanks to Brian for the link)

"People get pretty emotional about this issue."

Lawrence Krauss Won’t Appear at Tonight’s ..."
"And not the Parkland victims? Did you notice when they first did it?"

Billy Graham’s Body Shouldn’t “Lie in ..."
"In case we were worried about the intellectual heavyweights at CPAC...."

Former White House Adviser to CPAC ..."
"And there we have it. You have a very weird definition of sexual harassment/assault."

Lawrence Krauss Faces Sexual Misconduct Allegations ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment