Not That You Needed Convincing, But Don’t Buy Products from Alex Jones

On Last Week Tonight, John Oliver did an entire segment about conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. But rather than delve into Jones’ awful comments about Sandy Hook, which many media outlets have already done, he focused on the pseudo-scientific products that Jones sells on his radio show, Jones’ claim that the money he makes from those products barely covers the cost of his media empire, and the “MIT alumni” who endorses these products on air.

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The whole segment gives you even more reasons to despise Alex Jones. Not that you needed them. (By extension, you shouldn’t buy products from Gwyneth Paltrow‘s Goop, either.)

One criticism, though. Around the 17:00 mark, there’s a clip showing Jones talking about how he dresses well — like a “Satanist” — in order to “enter their world” and pop the bubble from the inside. Oliver responds to that comment with this: “Tormenting the parents of Sandy Hook should comfortably get you into the Satanic Club.”

Hey now. I know a lot of Satanists and they want nothing to do with Alex Jones.

Unlike him, they have morals.

Peter H. Gilmore, the high priest of the Church of Satan, wasn’t thrilled with Jones’ remark either, telling me via email:

The fact that Jones dons a blue sports jacket and a Rolex, which he equates with the values of human prosperity and empowerment — actual Satanic values — to infiltrate and expose us is laughable.

We certainly appreciate bespoke suits and finely crafted accessories, but Jones is going to need more than those trinkets to “enter our world.” Fundamentalist Christian hucksters like Jones always prey on the fears of their followers by providing scapegoats, so we aren’t surprised that he preaches an anti-life morality to personally profit off those gullible enough to buy into his irrational conspiracy theories.

Tormenting the parents of the Sandy Hook victims gets no kudos from us, for as Satanists we seek justice, which means punishing actual criminals and not using such tragedies as a means for promoting fantasies about non-existent conspiracies.

If Alex Jones were indeed a Satanist, he’d be a much better human being.

***Update***: Lucien Greaves of The Satanic Temple added in an email:

Personally, I doubt anybody has a more deeply-rooted disgust and loathing for the foul, idiotic, crass ranting buffoon played by Alex Jones on his mentally deranged InfoWars broadcasts than myself.

While The Satanic Temple doesn’t dictate political party affiliation to its membership, and we embrace a wide spectrum of individuals of a diversity of opinions and persuasions, I like to think that our membership has no overlap at all with the bitter, ignorant and appallingly gullible Alex Jones market.

If Alex Jones were to apply for membership in the “Satanic Club” of The Satanic Temple, I think that the most polite rejection reply I could muster for him is, “go fuck yourself.”

I hope Oliver’s piece on Alex Jones is but the beginning of a sustained and crushing public shaming of Jones and his malicious band of conspiracist slobs.

Greaves added that the Temple’s Grey Faction is actively fighting against the sort of “harmful lunacy” endorsed by Jones.

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