A PA Church Near an Elementary School Will Bless Your Assault Rifles Next Week

In the wake of the recent school shooting in Florida, a Pennsylvania church is leading the way in urging people to lay down their weapons and put their trust in God instead.

… I’m just kidding.

Sanctuary Church in Newfoundland, PA (officially the World Peace and Unification Sanctuary) will be blessing the AR-15s of hundreds of people next Wednesday, just across the street from an elementary school. Because Jesus.

“This will be a big thing for us. It’s a new stage for us because it incorporates the rod of iron, as it is in Revelations. Revelations talks about the returning Christ ruling with the rod of iron,” said Tim Elder.

“This rod of iron is the AR-15, in today’s terms.”

Fact check: The Book of Revelation says nothing about Jesus holding a semi-automatic rifle.

This isn’t a traditional Christian church. It’s an offshoot of the controversial Unification Church founded by Sun Myung Moon, and it’s led by his son, Reverend Sean Moon. (How batshit crazy are they? The church’s website includes step-by-step instructions for how to multiply Holy Salt, Holy Wine, and Holy Water.)

Still, even if the guns aren’t loaded, the fact that they’re doing this at all should raise questions about what they hope to accomplish.

Does a blessed gun have better aim? Does it make the gun easier to fire? Do school shooters using a blessed AR-15 go to Heaven instead of Hell?

I have no idea. But whatever they’re going for, it’s scaring the hell out of parents whose kids attend the elementary school just down the road.

“It’s something I would consider keeping my child home. It’s scary,” said Liz Zoccola.

“I wish they wouldn’t have it at all. I don’t think there’s a good time to have it, especially this close,” Kendra Hanor said.

Wallenpaupack Area school officials are deciding what, if anything, the school will do next Wednesday in response to the ceremony down the road.

The church doesn’t seem to care. Because nothing brings people closer to God than holy weaponry designed to as kill many people as possible in limited time. Isn’t that worth the cost of frightening a bunch of children?

The event, in case you’re wondering, was planned before last week’s shooting. But it hasn’t been rescheduled or canceled in the aftermath, which is the more pressing concern.

(Screenshot via Fox 8. Thanks to Kyong for the link)

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