Man Named Jesus Christianity Jailed After Making Bomb Threats at Pride Parade

A man named Jesus Christianity (yes, seriously) of South East Wales has been arrested for making bomb threats at an LGBTQ Pride parade in Cardiff.

Making the threat was clearly the second biggest mistake in his life.

Prosecutor Gareth James said Christianity targeted young people on the train who he could tell from their appearance were attending the event.

“He started saying it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam, and that gays were disgusting,” he said.

Wait, wait, wait. “Not Adam and Adam”? That’s… not… come on, at least do a little better with your bigotry.

Christianity was eventually tackled by a passenger and found to not have any weapons on him except a toy gun.

Authorities don’t believe him to be a terrorist, but just so we’re all clear, Christianity is dangerous and a threat to the general public. If you see Christianity approaching you, you should walk away quickly and alert the authorities.

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