ISIS Uses the Qur’an to Justify Sex Slavery

In a terrifying story, Rukmini Callimachi of the New York Times shows how members of Daesh/ISIS believe it’s their God-given right to rape non-believers.

They justify this horror, no surprise, by quoting the Qur’an.

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Say “Hi-Diddly-Ho” to the Ned Flanders-Themed Heavy Metal Band Okilly Dokilly

A group of Simpsons-loving Ned Flanders fans have formed the Christian-iest heavy metal band ever. They call themselves Okilly Dokilly. And you should be intimidated by them. I’m not sure why, but just go with it.

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Planned Parenthood Has Sunk to New Lows

I can’t believe what they do to women these days…

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Diving Team Discovers “Flying Spaghetti Monster” Underwater

Turns out the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t live “up there” at all. He’s been in the water the whole time:

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“Lord God Almighty, True and Bitchin’ Are Your Judgments”

A Bible in which the word “righteous” is replaced by the word “bitchin'”?

I’m sold:

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