Why Duck Dynasty Patriarch Phil Robertson’s Joke About Atheists Makes No Sense

Phil Robertson, the patriarch of the family featured on the reality show “Duck Dynasty,” was giving a sermon at White’s Ferry Road church in Louisiana last weekend and make a crack at atheists that really makes no sense whatsoever when you give it more than a second of thought:

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A Coconut is Messing Up This Country’s Elections

In America, out voting scandals involve ID laws, hanging chads, and outright disenfranchisement.

In the Maldives, their big voting scandal this year involves a coconut.

A cursed coconut.

A cursed 4-inch coconut inscribed with a Koranic verse written in Arabic.

To quote Paul Fidalgo:

A magic coconut has disrupted Maldivian elections and now there is an investigation into the magic coconut and OH GOD I WISH I WAS KIDDING

So how is this coconut disrupting an election?

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FOX News’ Dana Perino: If Atheists Don’t Like the Pledge of Allegiance, ‘They Don’t Have to Live Here’

Following the oral arguments in the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court regarding the Pledge of Allegiance case, FOX News’ “The Five” reacted to the arguments made by atheist lawyer David Niose.

Notably, Dana Perino (former White House Press Secretary for George W. Bush) argued that this was already a settled issue because the Senate and the House had already passed resolutions to keep “Under God” in the Pledge. In other words, a bunch of Christians had already agreed that we should pay homage to God… so how dare these atheists argue against it?!

(Of course, the atheist argument here wasn’t that “Under God” was government promotion of Christianity, but rather, that saying the Pledge made atheist students look like second-class citizens, unpatriotic and not properly deferential to God. But, you know, facts… who needs them?)

Then, Perino made an even more ignorant statement:

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Watch the Oral Arguments from the Massachusetts Pledge of Allegiance Case

Here’s something you don’t see every day: A case argued in front of a high court. The U.S. Supreme Court doesn’t allow cameras, but the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court does, and so we have video of Tuesday’s argument to pull the Pledge of Allegiance from public school classrooms because they are discriminatory against atheist students:

David Niose, who represented the plaintiffs is the first speaker in that video. The judges grilled him but he responded to each argument well. The judges asked even tougher questions, it seemed to me, of the other side.

Lisa Redmond of the Lowell Sun summarized his portion of the arguments this way:

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The Wrong Advice to Give to a Mother Whose Children Are Subject to Proselytizing in School

In a recent Slate column, Emily Yoffe offers far-too-cautious advice for a mother whose child is dealing with religious proselytization in the classroom.

Here’s the setup:

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