A Christian Explanation for Why Living Together Before Marriage is the Worst Idea You’ve Ever Had

Earlier this week, we discussed 27-year-old tattooed rebel Matt Walsh and his terrible, harmful views on sex.

The gist of Walsh’s post was that if you have sex with someone before you get married, you’re pretty much the worst, your future spouse will hate you, and all you’ll have left to look forward to is a long, horrible life of empty, second-hand banging.

Now, I know Walsh isn’t the only religious fella obsessed with virginity. In fact, it’s a pretty solid theme across most major religions. So imagine my lack of surprise when this came across my desk:

5 Reasons Shacking Up Before Marriage Is a Bad Idea

Now, as a current shacker-upper myself, I was pretty excited to hear what promised to be five super-solid reasons I should move out of my lovely apartment in Chicago since it’s been tainted with the pre-marital-living-together-ness of my boyfriend and me.

So, let’s start with #1 and work our way down, shall we?

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Christian Blogger Responds to Questionable Advice About Sex with Worse Advice

Ah, sex ed. There are few high school subjects that can make teenagers so uncomfortable, weirdly excited, and sweaty all at once.

One student, Jeremy, was having a tricky time in his own sex ed class and so he did what any of us might have done in a similar position: he emailed Christian blogger Matt Walsh for some advice.

A few things you should know about Matt Walsh:

  1. He is a self-described “blogger, speaker, and professional sayer of truths.”
  2. He has more than 55,000 likes on Facebook. Also, both his profile and cover photo are of his face.
  3. If you search “Matt Walsh,” he has the number one Google result. Which is, frankly, quite impressive.
  4. I don’t know what else. He doesn’t have much in the way of an “About Me” page.

So, as I was saying, Jeremy had a bad experience in his sex ed class and turned to Walsh for some guidance:

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Send Us Your Heathen Holiday Cards!

As you may recall, last holiday season, Friendly Atheist featured a series called Heathen Holiday Cards, and the response was outstanding!

We featured the secular holiday cards from viewers like you, whether they were funny, subversive, or sweet.

Like this one:



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High School Runner Drops Out of Regional Race After Being Assigned Number ’666′

A student in Whitley County, Kentucky was getting ready to run in the high school regional cross country race when she suddenly decided to drop out.

The reason?

This was her bib number:

Yup. The mark of the beast. (Or at least, one interpretation of it.)

You see, Codie Thacker is a very religious young woman, and she said just the thought of wearing that number made her “sick.”

Along with her coach, Gina Croley, she tried to get a different number, but was turned down by three separate officials.

So, rather than run the race under the number 666, she decided to drop out.

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Pastor Kevin Swanson: I Don’t Buy Girl Scout Cookies Because ‘I Don’t Wanna Support Lesbianism’

I’ve always been a huge fan of Girl Scout cookies because I am an all-American, red-blooded, gun-toting, God-fearing… wait… I got carried away somewhere in there. Anyway, Tagalongs are my jam and (true story) last year I had Thin Mints for the first time when a coworker flipped out because I had never had one. (My excuse was that I’m not a fan of mint… I was wrong. I love mint. The thinner, the better.)

But I digress. A few years ago, I became aware that the Girl Scouts of America not only manufacture amazing snacks, but are also a pretty kick-ass organization — and more or less the anti-Boy Scouts.

And the reasons that I think GSA is pretty awesome — they’re supportive of the LGBTQ community, they don’t enforce religious ideals, they promote smart sex education, they piss off right-wingers, etc. — are the very reasons that Pastor Kevin Swanson haaaaaaaaaaates them.

So, in an effort to save us all from accidentally supporting babies getting abortions or whatever, Swanson went on a radio show to explain (read: rant like a crazy person) how people who buy Girl Scout cookies are supporting Planned Parenthood, abortion and (obviously) lesbianism:



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