Bryan Fischer Thinks People Who Accept Evolution Should Be ‘Disqualified From Holding Political Office’

Ah, Bryan Fischer, we meet again.

In the past, we’ve sparred (rather one-sidedly, I must admit) about gay people, NBA players, abortion rights and tax law, and I think it can be agreed upon that at least a couple of those topics are ones that neither of us are actually qualified to discuss.

And yet here we are to discuss another area of mutual expertise: Politics.

Today, Sir Fischer decided that those of us who believe in evolution should be “disqualified from holding public office in the United States of America.”

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Heathen Holiday Card Giveaway!

Now that Thanksgiving is upon us, it’s time to kick off this year’s Heathen Holiday Cards!

As you may recall, last year, we posted readers’ best/funniest/most irreverent/warmest non-religious holiday cards.

We wanted to kick off the 2013 holiday season by featuring some cards that our readers are selling. The reason this particular post is going up earlier this year (Yes, guys, I read your gripes that the call-out for cards was too damn early. I hear your complaints) is because I wanted to give readers a chance to sell their cards, and they’ll likely need a couple weeks to get them out to you.

Not only did we get responses, we had some generous offers for giveaways!

Let’s start with those.

First up: Noble Works Cards

They have a bevy of irreverent cards for sale, like this one:

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An Atheist’s Telethon to Raise Money for a More Accessible Bible

Have you ever thought about reading the Bible and then thought to yourself “Naw, that writing is the worst!”

Well, you wouldn’t be wrong, and we have a solution for you!

Jacob Fortin of The Good Atheist fame is working on translating (for lack of a better word) the Bible into regular human words that are compelling, funny, yet still aligned with the original texts. Here’s a preview:

In the beginning of everything that ever was, God created the heavens and the Earth. A boring, formless mass of liquid cloaked in darkness, the Earth had relatively low property value but tons of potential. The Spirit of God, hovering above it like a comic book villain, said “Let there be light” and the whole place lit up magically without any point of origin. To ensure this bright new creation would forever be different from the black void, the Creator named one of them ‘light’ and the other ‘darkness’. God saw what he had done, and needless to say, was extremely impressed with himself [I mean, wouldn’t you be?].

Awesome — the whole book of Genesis is ready to go and can be found here.

It’s wonderfully written and will feature some awesome original drawings by Fortin, too. It’s funny and irreverent without

The book is due out in March, but he needs one more financial bump to get it out in time, so he’s doing what any of us would to raise a few bucks: Holding a telethon.

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A Christian Explanation for Why Living Together Before Marriage is the Worst Idea You’ve Ever Had

Earlier this week, we discussed 27-year-old tattooed rebel Matt Walsh and his terrible, harmful views on sex.

The gist of Walsh’s post was that if you have sex with someone before you get married, you’re pretty much the worst, your future spouse will hate you, and all you’ll have left to look forward to is a long, horrible life of empty, second-hand banging.

Now, I know Walsh isn’t the only religious fella obsessed with virginity. In fact, it’s a pretty solid theme across most major religions. So imagine my lack of surprise when this came across my desk:

5 Reasons Shacking Up Before Marriage Is a Bad Idea

Now, as a current shacker-upper myself, I was pretty excited to hear what promised to be five super-solid reasons I should move out of my lovely apartment in Chicago since it’s been tainted with the pre-marital-living-together-ness of my boyfriend and me.

So, let’s start with #1 and work our way down, shall we?

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Christian Blogger Responds to Questionable Advice About Sex with Worse Advice

Ah, sex ed. There are few high school subjects that can make teenagers so uncomfortable, weirdly excited, and sweaty all at once.

One student, Jeremy, was having a tricky time in his own sex ed class and so he did what any of us might have done in a similar position: he emailed Christian blogger Matt Walsh for some advice.

A few things you should know about Matt Walsh:

  1. He is a self-described “blogger, speaker, and professional sayer of truths.”
  2. He has more than 55,000 likes on Facebook. Also, both his profile and cover photo are of his face.
  3. If you search “Matt Walsh,” he has the number one Google result. Which is, frankly, quite impressive.
  4. I don’t know what else. He doesn’t have much in the way of an “About Me” page.

So, as I was saying, Jeremy had a bad experience in his sex ed class and turned to Walsh for some guidance:

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