According to Catholic Chastity Site, If You Are Impotent, Your Marriage Doesn’t Count

The folks over at the Catholic-based Chastity Project (unofficial slogan: Sex can wait! Masturbate!… But don’t do that either!) are just trying to get our young folks to stop banging long enough to go to Church. It’s a hard job (*hehe*) but apparently someone has to do it.

If you feel particularly masochistic, you may want to take a few minutes to peruse their website. And if you’re suuuuper self-loathing, you may want to click on the “Homosexuality” tab. (It’s right between the “Pornography, Etc.” and “Birth Control” tabs. Can’t miss it.)

Under the Q&A section, the website gives a lengthy (OhMyGodIt’sSoFreakingLong) explanation about why two people of the same sex can’t really get married.

Since you probably don’t have all day to read their long, long, long diatribe (Seriously. It’s 2,800 words long. No joke), I’ll bring you some of the more bonkers highlights.

They kick off by basically saying the same thing I would when waiting tables:

“I know, ma’am. If it were up to me, I would totally allow you to substitute your side of fries for an additional steak, but my d-bag manager says I can’t!” Except in this scenario, the steak is letting two consenting adults get married and my d-bag manager is the Bible.

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How Many Crazy Things Can Michele Bachmann Say in One Interview? Let’s Find Out

For some reason, people keep plopping a microphone down in front of Rep. Michele Bachmann and she obliges them by just blathering on about whatever insane crap enters her brain.

Most recently, she went on a show called Understanding the Times and explained how, obviously, President Obama is giving bombs to terrorists and, oh by the way, end times are upon us and Jesus is on his way.

You really just have to read it. And let me take a moment to thank the fine folks over at Right Wing Watch for transcribing this crap because I just couldn’t have done it.

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The Discovery Institute is Mad at Ball State University for Offering the Most Awesome Class Ever

A couple months ago, I wrote a bit about Ball State University, its president, Jo Ann Gora, and a science class that was not very scientific.

I was pretty excited to be writing about BSU because Gora was taking a stand for all that is good and true in this world — namely, teaching science in science classes.

After Ball State hired a professor (Eric Hedin) who was encouraging the “theory” of Intelligent Design in his physics class, the Freedom From Religion Foundation filed a complaint. In a great move, Gora and Ball State put the kibosh on that situation, drawing the ire of The Discovery Institute. A representative from the pro-creationism group criticized Gora, calling her insistence of teaching science in science courses “Orwellian.”

Since then, it seems that they have been keeping their beady little eyes on Ball State, ready to spring into action for any real or perceived religious offenses.

They found what they were looking for in an honors course called “Dangerous Ideas.”

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I Have a Soft Spot in My Heart for the Teen Exorcists

Watching these three young ladies — Brynne Larson and Tess and Savannah Scherkenback – interact and chit-chat, I have surprisingly mixed feelings:

They believe they can exorcise demons and they demonstrate their “talents” in front of massive, global audiences. And while I think their beliefs are crazy weird, I see a bit of my own teen self in them.

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The TAM 2013 Interviews Episode 4: Paul Provenza

I got to sit down with comedian and filmmaker Paul Provenza and had a wonderful talk about how The Amazing Meeting has changed over the years, the Reason Rally, and how he got into stand-up.

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