Christian Right Leader: NBA Teams Should be Worried About Jason Collins Eyeing Players in the Shower

It will come as a surprise to precisely no one currently reading this that Bryan Fischer, spokesman for the American Family Association, has something offensive and dumb to say about recently-out-of-the-closet NBA player Jason Collins.

Collins made history yesterday by becoming the first active athlete in a major (male) American sport to come out as gay. It seems as if Collins is going into this thing with eyes wide open. He know’s what he’s in for from the intolerant idiots out there. And the Christian Right is doing exactly what you might expect.

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Christian Right Leader Bryan Fischer: Gay People Are As Immoral As Shoplifters!

Bryan Fischer thinks that “we” (Christians? White guys? D-bags? Who knows) need to reclaim the word discrimination:

So why does the American Family Association spokesman feel that way?

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God Now Making His Presence Known In Goldfish Crackers

Guys, you know that I can be pretty skeptical. You might even go as far as to call me cynical. But seriously… what follows is a miracle that will be discussed for years and generations and centuries to come.

You see, Goldfish cracker-enthusiast and Florida native Patti Burke has discovered the next Virgin Mary grilled cheese phenomenon.

Behold: the cracker that contains a sign from god:

I’ll give you a moment to recover from the awe.

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Did I Just Agree with Bill O’Reilly…?

While we were all sleeping, Bill O’Reilly was replaced by Bizarro Bill O’Reilly (Rill O’Beilly?).

Maybe it’s not too weird… The man has previously been known to defy all logic, eliciting this reaction from David Silverman:

But here he is in a conversation about gay marriage and he’s… for it? Well, maybe not for it. But he rejects arguments made from religion, that’s for damn sure:

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Pat Robertson: God Doesn’t Perform Miracles in U.S. Because We’re Too Skeptical

Oh, Pat Robertson, you delightfully misogynistic old coot. You are always good for a chuckle. (Unless you say something that is actually deeply terrifying. In which case, you’re always good for a shudder.)

On Monday, Robertson was hosting The 700 Club as usual when he got the following email:

Why do amazing miracles (people raised from the dead, blind eyes open, lame people walking) happen with great frequency in places like Africa, and not here in the USA? What can we do to encourage those things to happen here? Is America too gone for miracles like this?

– Ken

It’s remarkable how a letter can be at once naive and simultaneously so close to being reasonable.

Now, if I were to answer this question, I would do so in one simple sentence:

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