Try These Biblical Pick-Up Lines on Someone

Mallory Ortberg, who frequently rewrites Bible passages for amusement, offers her list of prayers that would double as pick-up lines:

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This is Why God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayers

DarkMatters2525 shows us how, if God actually answered your prayers, it would ruin his entire Master Plan:

Prayers


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God’s Memory Aid Isn’t Very Helpful, Is It?

God is all-powerful and all-knowing… but His memory is just awful.

In a comic at It’s the Tie, He explains to His assistant how pillows help remind Him of all the important things on His agenda.

GodMemory


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The Most Disturbing Messages from Christians Found on the #ThingsTheGodlySay Hashtag

As many of you have probably experienced, there are a lot of things Christians say — out of “love,” they always claim — that are supposed to help you find God. Instead, they often do the opposite, reminding you of just how messed up religion can be.

Telling me that I might spend an eternity burning in Hell, for example, isn’t going to make me magically accept a fairy tale as historical truth.

A lot of people on Twitter have been sharing some of the worst things they’ve heard from religious people using the hashtag #ThingsTheGodlySay.

And in a salute to Jack Handey, we decided to put some of our favorites on a pleasant background… to remind you that even the worst faith-based ideas can be said with a smile.

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This Really Would Be the Best Star Wars Action Figure

Comedian Pierre Bennu saw his son playing with a Lando Calrissian action figure, clearly excited about the new Star Wars movie.

But he quickly learned that Star Wars had nothing to do with it.

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