Pastor Says Watching Pornography is ‘the New Bubonic Plague’

Pornography is the new bubonic plague.

That’s according to Jay Dennis, pastor of the Church of the Mall in Lakeland, Florida. We’ll have to assume that Dennis is engaging in a little over-the-top hyperbole, because bubonic plague has a mortality rate of up to 75%; if a proportional impact was seen among Americans who like to look at pictures of other people getting it on, no doubt we’d see more than a hundred million corpses rotting in our streets and homes.

Yes, porn is popular and plentiful, and these days it’s mostly free. This is a big problem for nannies, who simply cannot brook the thought of other people having fun, especially if there are various stages of undress involved.

Dennis is issuing a call for one million Christian men to live porn-free.

They must promise God, their pastors, and their wives/girlfriends that they’ll go cold turkey. Why has Dennis turned into a smutfighter? When you visit his site, you learn that porn “leads to broken marriages, child abuse, and physical harm”; that it is a “cancer,” a “war,” and a “deadly lure”; as well as “an addiction as powerful as crack” that is spread by “Satan.”

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The (Abstinence) Loophole by Garfunkel and Oates

Earlier this year, I posted a live clip of the hilarious duo Garfunkel and Oates singing about a loophole to abstinence that Jesus would undoubtedly approve of…

Well, the official video is out today (needless to say, the lyrics and video are NSFW):

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Christian Mother to Daughter: If You Remain Abstinent Until You’re 20, I’ll Give You $1,000

The good: Mother Katie Hughes talked to her daughters about sex when she felt they were ready to handle the information (at age eight). She didn’t avoid the conversations. She took them very seriously.

The bad: She had her daughters sign a contact with a reward for “good” behavior:

… in a nutshell, it’s an agreement between us as parents and our children, signifying if you refrain from the use of drugs, alcohol, premarital sex and or promiscuity and live a clean, moral life up to the age of 20, we’d give that child $1,000.00 as an ultimate reward for positive behavior.

Okay. Let’s talk about the two issues at hand here.

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This Is Why Christian Mingle Freaks Me Out

You have to read the rest of the strip for the punchline :)

The blog post underneath it is worth reading, too.

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A Public School Brought in Unqualified Christian Women to Teach Students About Sex… and Guess How That Went?

Let’s run through a short list of items a quality sex education lecture for teenagers shouldn’t include:

Having students spit into a cup and then telling the class that drinking that cup is the equivalent of having sex with eight partners.

Arguing that condoms break… so they’re not helpful at all.

Telling ladies that they’re emotional after sex, so they’ll become attached to whomever they have sex with.

Tell students that STIs will make them sterile… without adding that that might happen only if left untreated.

State that medical textbooks say life begins at conception… when they don’t say that at all.

Saying “There’s a new STD that they’re saying is going to be the new AIDS” without elaborating further… so no sex for anyone!

Telling the students that you know two women who have had abortions and they both ended up with a perforated uterus because of the tools used during their procedures… so no abortions for anyone!

Those were among the things Joi Wasill, the founder of Decisions, Choices and Options (a group with “strong Christian, Republican and anti-abortion ties”), and Beth Cox, who is on the board of directors for the group, said to a group of students at Hillsboro High School in Nashville, Tennessee earlier this month.

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