Pastor Crows Victory After Agnostic Groom Finally Comes Crawling Back to Church

The Onion does funny fiction almost as well as religion does funny fiction:

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High School Cancels Event with Catholic Chastity Speaker Because He Can’t Be Trusted to Keep Faith Out of His Talk

If you were to visit the website of the Catholic-based Chastity Project website (and I’m not sure why anyone would), here’s the explanation you would find for why gay marriage isn’t really marriage:

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Christian Body-Builders Wife-Swap Their Way to Jesus

Thanks, New York Post. Also for the pictures. I think.

A Bible-thumping couple in Florida is changing the way people think about their faith – with a hookup website for devout Christian swingers!

Cristy Parave and her husband, Dean, are the unashamed bodybuilding Jesus lovers bringing couples together and introducing them to their wild lifestyle of swapping sex partners and Bible verses, Barcroft Media reports.

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Advice Columnist in Christian Magazine Tells Reader Not to Sign a Prenup Because It Would Diminish Her Marriage

Minister Eddie Kaufholz, writing for the Christian publication Relevant, just offered some of the silliest relationship advice you’ll ever hear this past week, advising reader “Christina” to ignore her parents’ suggestion to get a prenup with her fiancé.

I am all for making your own decisions and parting ways with your parents when their advice reflects a significant disparity with your personal values. But this article frames marriage in a particularly romantic Christian way: It assumes that marriage is an idyllic state of being that can be achieved by magical thinking and cultivated codependency:

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Here’s Old Footage of a Christian Apologist Saying That If You Have Lots of Sex, You’ll Be Dead or Paralyzed

I don’t know where Honeydew Wilkins finds this stuff, but here’s an old video of Christian apologist Josh McDowell warning a whole bunch of young people to stay away from sex (while rocking a kickass sweater):

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