TV Host Can’t Stop Laughing As Islamic Theologian Tells Her About the Sin of “Oral Sex In Advanced Dimensions”

Here’s a great way to make a news clip go viral:

Invite a Muslim theologian on your show to explain what kind of sex is forbidden (“haram”) in the faith.

Listen carefully as he rattles off his list: Anal sex. Sodomy. And finally: “Oral sex in advanced dimensions.”

Laugh your ass off.

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Jesus Ruined My Relationship… Look How Happy I Am Now!

This may be the most depressing thing I’ve read in a long time.

It starts out great, though. A Christian woman fell in love with her best friend (another woman) during college. True love. “Soul mate” love.

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The Kirk Cameron/Crocoduck Erotic Novel You’ve Been Waiting For is Finally Here

It’s been more than eight years since Kirk Cameron first introduced us to the Crocoduck, the crocodile/duck hybrid that he believes ought to exist if evolution is true.

And finally — finally! — there’s an erotic novel bringing the two together:

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Take Note, Religious Right: Access to Birth Control Slashes Teen Pregnancy and Abortion Rates

For as long as contraception has been a thing, the Religious Right has tried to vilify it.

First, they said it was an affront to God’s Plans. When they realized that argument wasn’t working, they shifted to saying it would increase promiscuity. When that was shown to be incorrect, they pivoted to insisting on abstinence-only sex education (for the sake of the kids). Those programs have since been proven ineffective, but proponents continue to proclaim the curriculum necessary.

Well, hate to be the bearer of bad news, you crazy fundamentalists, but you are once again wrong. (Did I say hate? Just kidding. I meant love.)

It turns out that providing access to free birth control significantly lowers teen pregnancy and abortion rates:

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How Abstinence-Only Sex Education Led Me Down An Unexpected Path

This is a guest post by Amber Barnhill.

When talking about my religious past, I often find myself referencing movies. How else are mainstream humans going to relate? Neo waking up in The Matrix. The barely-audible Asian chick in Pitch Perfect. And, in this case, Drew Barrymore‘s role in Never Been Kissed. If you’ve never seen the movie, the title really says it all.

Imagine being an almost-24-year-old, intelligent, moderately-attractive-yet-socially-awkward female venturing into the real world for the first time, having never even held hands with a guy and not having much in the way of worldly knowledge, but knowing that degree of innocence is not the norm.

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