Texas Elementary School Suspends Student for “Terroristic Threat” Involving Lord of the Rings Magic

A student from Kermit Elementary school (in Texas) discovered last Friday what we Tolkien nerds have long known: the One Ring to Rule them All is no laughing matter. Unfortunately, nine-year-old Aiden Steward learned it in rather an absurd fashion, after he was suspended for making a “terroristic threat” to make a classmate disappear with his magic ring.

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Jesus Will Be Pissed If Christian Women Go See Fifty Shades of Grey

Carmen Miller, who co-founded the “God Over Porn” ministry, is shocked — shocked! — that Christian women are getting excited about the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey movie. She wants them all to know how upset God will be if they choose to watch it:

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A Glimpse at Neil deGrasse Tyson’s Upcoming Talk Show

The New York TimesDennis Overbye got a sneak preview of Neil deGrasse Tyson‘s upcoming show StarTalk, scheduled to premiere on the National Geographic Channel this April:

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Actor Val Kilmer, Disputing Cancer Rumors, Is In a Hospital Consulting His “Christian Science Practitioner”

Val Kilmer (below), the actor who starred in Batman Forever, Top Gun, and Tombstone, was hospitalized a week ago. Details are sketchy, but TMZ reports that Kilmer, a follower of Christian Science, started bleeding from the throat prior to his hospitalization. According to the site, Kilmer had known something was seriously amiss for the past half a year, but refused medical treatment for a tumor, as Christian Scientists believe that disease is a lie and that only God has the power to heal.

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Jim Parsons Will Play God on Broadway

Back in April, we learned that David Javerbaum, the former head writer of The Daily Show who brilliantly channels God on Twitter as @TheTweetOfGod, was going to take his character to Broadway in a play based off of his book The Last Testament.

It was just revealed that Jim Parsons, better known as Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory, will play the role of God:

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