California Farmers Must Be Really Desperate if They’re Resorting to This

I understand that California’s going through a dry season right now… but this is not the way to solve the problem:

The nation’s fourth-largest wine maker, Bronco Wine Co., says it uses dowsers on its 40,000 acres of California vineyards, and dozens of smaller farmers and homeowners looking for wells on their property also pay for dowsers. Nationwide, the American Society of Dowsers, Inc. boasts dozens of local chapters, which meet annually at a conference.

“It’s kind of bizarre. Scientists don’t believe in it, but I do and most of the farmers in the Valley do,” said Marc Mondavi, a vineyard owner whose family has been growing grapes and making wine since the mid-20th century in the Napa Valley.

Dowsers are “magical” tools that use “natural energy” to find water and minerals. You basically dig where you think the dowser is telling you to dig… you ignore all the times when there’s nothing below and count the successes as a miracle. Often, the dowser “tells” you to dig precisely where you’d expect water to be found — who’d have guessed?!

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Egyptian Military Unveils Cure for AIDS… That Looks Remarkably Like a Fake Bomb Detector

Egyptian military leaders have found the cure for AIDS. And Hepatitis C.

Or so they say

I defeated AIDS with the grace of my God at the rate of 100 percent. And I defeated hepatitis C,” said Maj. Gen. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, the head of the Cancer Treatment and Screening Center, in CNN.

The C-Fast devices that are doing all the “curing” supposedly work by detecting infections without the use of blood samples. How does it do that? Short answer: Electromagnetism. Long answer: No one knows

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National Science Foundation Finds That Americans’ Belief in Astrology Is the Highest It’s Been In 30 Years

The spread of rational thinking appears unstoppable, evidenced by how secularization in the United States and Western Europe is continuing at encouraging speeds.

But by some other metrics, things aren’t really going our way.

According to data from the National Science Foundation’s just-released 2014 Science and Engineering Indicators study … the percentage of Americans who think astrology is “not at all scientific” declined from 62 percent in 2010 to just 55 percent in 2012 (the last year for which data is available). As a result, NSF reports that Americans are apparently less skeptical of astrology than they have been at any time since 1983.

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In New Autobiography, Indonesian President Yudhoyono Recounts How Praying to Allah Conquered ‘Witchcraft’

Witchcraft is prohibited by Islam. Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono‘s government wants that encoded in law with a clause specifying that the use of black magic to cause “someone’s illness, death, mental or physical suffering” is a crime punishable by five years in jail and a $25,000 fine.

Good idea. If it wasn’t for such legislation, presumably everyone would be terrified 24/7 due to witchy things like this event, described in Yudhoyono’s new autobiography.

“Suddenly, my wife screamed,” writes Yudhoyono in the 900-page book, “Selalu Ada Pilihan” (There is Always a Choice). “There was this thick dark cloud hovering beneath the ceiling, trying to enter my bedroom. I then asked everybody to pray to seek Allah’s help. I closed the door to my room but left others wide open. The revolving clouds eventually headed out of my house.”

Could’ve been a smokey kitchen oven I suppose, or a dream, or a vision brought on by food poisoning or an adverse drug reaction.

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Et Tu, Guardian? Normally Reasonable Paper Embarrasses Itself With Fawning Piece About Popular Astrologer

How’s this for an astrological prediction:

“You may have already heard the rumors — October is not due to be an easy month in any which way. … The new moon may trigger contract negotiations, but talks are likely to hit snags.”

That was Susan Miller‘s reading for President Barack Obama a few months ago. Actually, it was her reading for Leos in general. Miller is apparently a famous astrologer. Aaron Hicklin, writing for the Guardian, is impressed by how “uncanny” her talent is. When he first meets her,

… Miller is riding high after forecasting a diabolical month.

How so? Hicklin figures that the malarkey above is actually an on-the-nose reference to the government shutdown over the budget. It doesn’t seem to occur to him that being the president of a superpower means you never have “an easy month,” and that “negotiations” hitting “snags” are part of Washington’s daily grind.

Miller has nevertheless parlayed such preposterous triumphs into a neat little empire.

Today millions of people look to Miller to tell them who they are, and where they are going — 6.5 million online every month, and rising.

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