So That’s What Happened To God’s Plentiful Blessings

Science for the win, courtesy of the Onion:

[A] study released Thursday by the University of Texas Department of Astronomy found that the majority of blessings from God burn up while passing through Earth’s atmosphere. “We discovered that due to the thickness and density of the gases surrounding our planet, 80 percent of God’s graces will completely disintegrate by the time they are about 75 to 100 kilometers away from the surface,” said professor Donald Northcote, adding that his team’s observations suggest that roughly 19 million of the Lord’s blessings vaporize in the mesosphere on any given day.

“Even the largest and most generous of God’s gifts will be reduced to many minute fragments of His original intention during the journey, and the rare blessing that reaches the ground will be much smaller than it was in Heaven.”

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Pope Francis OKs Parents Smacking Children, Provided “Dignity” Is Maintained

Parenting wisdom from a former nightclub bouncer with no sex life, no kids, and no child-rearing experience.

Pope Francis says it is OK to smack your children to discipline them — as long as their dignity is maintained. Francis made the remarks this week during his weekly general audience, which was devoted to the role of fathers in the family. He outlined the traits of a good father — one who forgives but is able to “correct with firmness” while not discouraging the child.

The pope said: “One time, I heard a father in a meeting with married couples say ‘I sometimes have to smack my children a bit, but never in the face so as to not humiliate them.’ How beautiful! He knows the sense of dignity! He has to punish them but does it justly and moves on.”

It’s remarkable that the head of the Catholic Church, an institution whose reputation is in tatters thanks to an epidemic of child abuse, doesn’t exercise a little more prudence when it comes to talking about smacking kids.

The Rev. Thomas Rosica, who works with the Vatican press office, said the pope was obviously not speaking about committing violence or cruelty against a child but rather about “helping someone to grow and mature.” … “Simply watch Pope Francis when he is with children and let the images and gestures speak for themselves!” [said Rosica]. “To infer or distort anything else … reveals a greater problem for those who don’t seem to understand a pope who has ushered in a revolution of normalcy of simple speech and plain gesture.”

So “plain gestures” such as these are fine:

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Muslim Leader Is Pissed Over Interfaith Campaign That Shows a Muslim Woman Saying “I Love Hindus”

Expressing love is dangerous, subversive stuff to some believers.

An “I’m Muslim, I love Hindus” campaign by the Young Interfaith Peacemaker Community of Indonesia (YIPCI) is a veiled attempt at pushing for religious equality in Muslim-majority Malaysia, Ikatan Muslimin Malaysia (ISMA) has alleged.

‘Cause fuck religious equality, right?

ISMA information chief Mohd Hazizi Ab Rahman took issue with a photograph of a YIPCI representative, who appears to be a Muslim female clad in a headscarf, holding up a placard that read “I’m a Muslim, I love Hindus” — saying that this could erode the faith of Muslims in the country.

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Dealbreaker: You Tell Me Your Astrological Sign

My chart would’ve featured a spike right at “believe”:

(via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

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Parenting Without God Isn’t Just a Good Option It’s Increasingly Looking Like the Better One

Last month, an op-ed about secular parenting by Phil Zuckerman, author and Pitzer College professor of Sociology and Secular Studies, was published in the LA Times. In the piece, Zuckerman discusses his own and other researchers’ work, in measuring the success, or lack thereof, of raising kids to be “good without God.”

And the results seem to indicate the secular community is doing as good a job, and in some measures possibly a better job, than their peers.

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