I Called Touch ‘Em All Ministries and This Is What Happened

A lot of people have been sending me this image of a Christian ministry’s vehicle… for a very obvious reason:

They are seriously named “Touch ‘Em All Ministries.” TEAM is a group “dedicated to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with participants at sporting events.”

It’s easy to make jokes about the name — I’ve come up with seven while writing this post — but I figured it’d be more interesting to give them a call to see if they could explain the thought process behind it.

I mean, someone had to say to them, “This might be a bad idea…,” right?

I didn’t record it, but we just got off the phone, and this is a pretty close reenactment of how our conversation went:

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Oklahoma Supreme Court Denies Rehearing Ten Commandments Monument Case

Last month, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that a Ten Commandments monument on the grounds of the State Capitol was unconstitutional:

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Gordon Klingenschmitt: The Boy Scouts Shouldn’t Allow Gay Leaders Because “It Will Lead to Child Abuse”

Colorado State Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt, who doubles as the host of his own paranoia-fueled “Pray In Jesus Name” talk show, sent a warning to the Boy Scouts of America today before they officially open the doors to gay scout leaders.

Says Klingenschmitt: That’ll lead to all sorts of child abuse:

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Pat Robertson: The Life Spans of Pro-Choice Supreme Court Justices Are in God’s Hands

I would love to know who these people are who think asking Pat Robertson for advice is a good idea. On today’s episode of The 700 Club, someone asked why pro-choice Supreme Court justices “all live to be such an old age.”

The right answer would be: “Because their decisions have nothing to do with their life spans. Obviously. Why the hell do you even have to ask?” (Unquote.)

That’s not what Robertson said:

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At Meeting, School Board Member Rants Against Gay Marriage and Says Racism is Over in America

The Chino Valley Unified School District (in California), as we’ve noted on this site before, is a place where Board of Education meetings resemble church services. That’s not an exaggeration. Three of the five members belong to the same Christian megachurch. And their inability to stop praying to Jesus at meetings has led to a lawsuit from the Freedom From Religion Foundation.

And yet the ignorance is still in full swing. At a recent meeting, the Board’s Vice President Andrew Cruz went on a rant trashing gay marriage, invoking the Confederate Flag, arguing that racism is over, complaining about California’s recent mandatory vaccination laws, etc.

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