Vicar of Indian Church Says Men Can Only Get Married There If They Prove They Can Produce Sperm

If you’re a man and you want to get married in the Santa Cruz Basilica (pictured below) at Fort Kochi, India, Catholic vicar Francis Fernandez would like to make sure you can produce sperm. So says this article from the New India Express. The vicar requires that you undergo a “potency test,” which I infer means the proven ability to ejaculate, as one quoted expert questions the efficacy of such tests by saying

Some can’t stimulate themselves under artificial circumstances.”

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Louisiana Pastor Accused of Repeatedly Raping Mentally Challenged Women After Her Father Offered Her For Sex

When a man of God meets a mentally challenged young woman who has the brain capacity of a seven-year-old, what ensues? It doesn’t appear to have been Christian love in the case of Baton Rouge pastor David “Scott” Lemley. Lemley allegedly decided to rape her on several occasions because his own wife had been sick and sexually unavailable.

Can it get worse? Yes: The victim’s own father offered her to Lemley, police say.

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Quiverfull-Friendly Minister Placed on Leave After 34 Sexual Harassment Allegations

In a dramatic (if commonplace) turn of events, a prominent Christian luminary who advocated home-schooling, traditional gender roles, and purity before marriage has been removed from his position following allegations of sexual misconduct.

At least 34 women who have been involved with the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) over the past 40 years claim they have been sexually harassed by the ministry’s founder, Bill Gothard (no, really, that’s his last name). He has also been accused of molestation and failure to report child abuse.

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The Best Way To Lure ‘Unchurched’ Men to Jesus? Kentucky Baptist Convention Says It’s With Free Guns and Steak

From the Onion the Courier-Journal:

In an effort its spokesman has described as “outreach to rednecks,” the Kentucky Baptist Convention is leading “Second Amendment Celebrations,” where churches around the state give away guns as door prizes to lure in nonbelievers in hopes of converting them to Christ.

As many as 1,000 people are expected at the next one, on Thursday at Lone Oak Baptist Church in Paducah, where they will be given a free steak dinner and the chance to win one of 25 handguns, long guns and shotguns.

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The Mormon Church Isn’t Exactly Denying the Idea of Owning Your Own Planet After You Die

If you saw “The Book of Mormon” on Broadway, then you’ll undoubtedly remember when the main character sings, “I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet.” That idea is so obviously ridiculous that you can’t help but mock it when anyone mentions it. But according to some media reports, a new explanation of that idea by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints says that’s not actually how it works.

Here’s what that explanation says:

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