Bristol! You’re pregnant! Again! Without a ring! Again!
I still remember the first time you broke such news. Your mom was running for Vice President on a platform that strongly advocated for abstinence-only sex education, and there you were: her supposedly abstinent teen daughter, knocked up. It turned you into the butt of a seemingly endless parade of jokes, and as a brand new unwed mom myself at the time, I’d never been so grateful to be a bit of a nobody.