The Gospel of the Adorable Huggables

Anthony Sacramone goes off on a sublime rant occasioned by the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America pursuing full fellowship with the United Methodists. In doing so, he poses an ecumenical solution:

Why not merge the churches and be done with it—they’re already bleeding more members than a mohel convention. Why not create one great American mainline Protestant denomination—called the First Church of the Grand High Exalted Mystic Vague—where all are welcome, because all are one, and between self and nonself exists only an unpaid student loan. The gospel, like Gaul, will be divided into three parts: The Law, the Gospel, and the Adorable Huggables. And the only moral theology will consist of being overdrawn on your carbon credits . . .

About Gene Veith

Professor of Literature at Patrick Henry College, the Director of the Cranach Institute at Concordia Theological Seminary, a columnist for World Magazine and TableTalk, and the author of 18 books on different facets of Christianity & Culture.

  • fw

    I googled “mohel convention” . ouch.

  • fw

    I googled “mohel convention” . ouch.

  • Paul Maurice

    Dear Professor Veith:
    A delightful satirical “send-up,” to be sure. I remember seeing a satirical poster of the Episcopal Church with a similar theme. It read (beside a photograph of their very liberal female presiding bishop): “DON’T BELIEVE ALL THAT CRAP? NEITHER DO WE! THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH WELCOMES YOU.” Once again…caustic wit and biting satire.
    Please forgive me, but the real reason for my writing here is to draw your attention to a letter (or response) I wrote yesterday to commentary you made “Didn’t I already write this book?” on January 3rd. I am hoping that you might check back there to read response #15 (for what it is worth) which I wrote just yesterday late in the evening. I certainly would appreciate it. Just wanting to make this connection. God bless you and keep you. Paul Maurice

  • Paul Maurice

    Dear Professor Veith:
    A delightful satirical “send-up,” to be sure. I remember seeing a satirical poster of the Episcopal Church with a similar theme. It read (beside a photograph of their very liberal female presiding bishop): “DON’T BELIEVE ALL THAT CRAP? NEITHER DO WE! THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH WELCOMES YOU.” Once again…caustic wit and biting satire.
    Please forgive me, but the real reason for my writing here is to draw your attention to a letter (or response) I wrote yesterday to commentary you made “Didn’t I already write this book?” on January 3rd. I am hoping that you might check back there to read response #15 (for what it is worth) which I wrote just yesterday late in the evening. I certainly would appreciate it. Just wanting to make this connection. God bless you and keep you. Paul Maurice

  • http://fivepintlutheran.blogspot.com/ David

    Since noone has any reason to believe anything why not just go fishing, golfing,feasting or sleep in on Sunday Morning? Oh! Perchance that is what some of the former members of these bodies are doing?

    How do we reach out to the disaffected? Let us see if a remnant still seeks substance. Ranting is fun but these folk are perishing. Seems like a great time to have a go at mopping up after the clowns at ELCA, ECUSA, PCUSA. etc.

    As a former Baptist whose home church went wackier than it already was I praise God for my outspoken friends in other denominations. These dear folk encouraged me to keep looking for Jesus.

    God’s peace. †

  • http://fivepintlutheran.blogspot.com/ David

    Since noone has any reason to believe anything why not just go fishing, golfing,feasting or sleep in on Sunday Morning? Oh! Perchance that is what some of the former members of these bodies are doing?

    How do we reach out to the disaffected? Let us see if a remnant still seeks substance. Ranting is fun but these folk are perishing. Seems like a great time to have a go at mopping up after the clowns at ELCA, ECUSA, PCUSA. etc.

    As a former Baptist whose home church went wackier than it already was I praise God for my outspoken friends in other denominations. These dear folk encouraged me to keep looking for Jesus.

    God’s peace. †

  • Joe

    I saw a commercial for the United Methodist Church about 5 years ago that actually said:

    “Just because we don’t all believe the same thing does not mean we can worship together.”

    Wow! Then they showed people of different faiths sitting in a pew together. None were labeled, but you tell one was Jewish, one was some sort of New Age, etc. It was pretty odd.

  • Joe

    I saw a commercial for the United Methodist Church about 5 years ago that actually said:

    “Just because we don’t all believe the same thing does not mean we can worship together.”

    Wow! Then they showed people of different faiths sitting in a pew together. None were labeled, but you tell one was Jewish, one was some sort of New Age, etc. It was pretty odd.

  • http://www.bikebubba.blogspot.com Bike Bubba

    A dear friend of mine noted that one sad thing for evangelicals is that those leaving liberal churches (like goyim from a bris?) are too often doing so for moral reasons, not those centered in the Gospel. We therefore ought to be careful how readily we admit them into Bible-believing churches.

    (and I’m one of ‘em, having grown up in the UMC)

  • http://www.bikebubba.blogspot.com Bike Bubba

    A dear friend of mine noted that one sad thing for evangelicals is that those leaving liberal churches (like goyim from a bris?) are too often doing so for moral reasons, not those centered in the Gospel. We therefore ought to be careful how readily we admit them into Bible-believing churches.

    (and I’m one of ‘em, having grown up in the UMC)

  • http://www.hempelstudios.com Sarah in Maryland

    Leaving the ELCA has proven more difficult than I thought. I am very emotionally attached to my particular congregation, even if I am constantly in a huff about something (or often times the nothing) that is happening in the ELCA. The only thing that keeps me there is the hope in the young people whose Sunday school I teach. There is still a remnant in the ELCA, though I am not sure how large it is. There is a serious crisis of Biblical illiteracy, which Sarah Wilson of Lutheran Forum addresses very frankly in her editorial in this seasons’ issue. (If you don’t get Lutheran Forum, sign up today! Yours truly is on the cover this issue.) People in the ELCA don’t know the Bible, otherwise there is no way all this would be happening.

    Pray for the remnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.hempelstudios.com Sarah in Maryland

    Leaving the ELCA has proven more difficult than I thought. I am very emotionally attached to my particular congregation, even if I am constantly in a huff about something (or often times the nothing) that is happening in the ELCA. The only thing that keeps me there is the hope in the young people whose Sunday school I teach. There is still a remnant in the ELCA, though I am not sure how large it is. There is a serious crisis of Biblical illiteracy, which Sarah Wilson of Lutheran Forum addresses very frankly in her editorial in this seasons’ issue. (If you don’t get Lutheran Forum, sign up today! Yours truly is on the cover this issue.) People in the ELCA don’t know the Bible, otherwise there is no way all this would be happening.

    Pray for the remnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.geneveith.com Veith

    Thank you, Paul, for your kind words and your introduction. Welcome to this blog-community!

  • http://www.geneveith.com Veith

    Thank you, Paul, for your kind words and your introduction. Welcome to this blog-community!

  • Pingback: Pages tagged "adorable"

  • Pingback: Pages tagged "adorable"


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X