Stupid Questions

Every weekend, the comics section in the Washington Post holds a humorous contest called “The Style Invitational” in which readers can send in their humorous contributions. This week readers were challenged to send in “stupid questions” for companies’ customer service representatives. The entries were indeed humorous. Here are a few, but you might enjoy them all:

[The Winner] To the White House: My 2006 Chrysler Sebring is hesitating when I step on the accelerator. When can I bring it in? (Jeff Hazle, Woodbridge)

[second place] To Procter & Gamble: I love your Charmin toilet paper, but I hate those rolls that dispense from the underside. Can you tell me where I can buy rolls that dispense from the top of the roll? (James Noble, Lexington Park) . . .

Ikea: The table I ordered arrived, but all the legs are broken off! (Beverley Sharp, Washington)

General Mills: I just turned 18 and I was wondering if I have to give up Trix now or do I still count as a kid until I’m 21? (Adam and Russell Beland, from the South Rim of the Grand Canyon) . . .

Rolex: I recently purchased one of your fine timepieces and I just noticed that there is an extra “L” in the logo. Would removing that be covered under the warranty, and if so, can I just take it back to the stand where I bought it to have that done? (Dan Ramish, Arlington)

OK, now you do it.

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  • Carl Vehse

    For those who want to get addicted (and I’ve had to listen to people reciting their latest entries to me), here’s more (plus links) on the Style Invitational.

  • Carl Vehse

    For those who want to get addicted (and I’ve had to listen to people reciting their latest entries to me), here’s more (plus links) on the Style Invitational.

  • http://www.christlutheran.net Jeff Samelson

    I actually submitted this one to the contest (but didn’t get ink):
    Hunt’s Tomato Ketchup …
    Question: I noticed that your bottle says “Taste and Believe”. I’m an agnostic, so I’m wondering what I will believe after using your product – will I be a Muslim, Quaker, Scientologist, or maybe some kind of tomato worshipper? And if I serve some to my friend who’s a Lutheran pastor, will that be a problem? I mean, could it make him suddenly Jewish or something?

  • http://www.christlutheran.net Jeff Samelson

    I actually submitted this one to the contest (but didn’t get ink):
    Hunt’s Tomato Ketchup …
    Question: I noticed that your bottle says “Taste and Believe”. I’m an agnostic, so I’m wondering what I will believe after using your product – will I be a Muslim, Quaker, Scientologist, or maybe some kind of tomato worshipper? And if I serve some to my friend who’s a Lutheran pastor, will that be a problem? I mean, could it make him suddenly Jewish or something?

  • http://www.christlutheran.net Jeff Samelson

    Perhaps I should note that the contest specified that the winning questions would be asked by Post columnist Gene Weingarten.

  • http://www.christlutheran.net Jeff Samelson

    Perhaps I should note that the contest specified that the winning questions would be asked by Post columnist Gene Weingarten.

  • http://www.oldsolar.com/currentblog.php Rick Ritchie

    I think the people at General Mills lack a sense of humor. That was a joke question.

  • http://www.oldsolar.com/currentblog.php Rick Ritchie

    I think the people at General Mills lack a sense of humor. That was a joke question.

  • Katie

    I used to work for Alltel Wireless – a cell phone company. I answered calls in Technical Support. My favorite stupid question I ever got went like this:
    (C=Customer, M=Me)
    C:Can you help me with international dialing?
    M: I can help you with that. What error message do you hear after dialing your international number?
    C: Oh, the call will ring fine, but what I need help with is that when someone answers, I can’t understand them because they are talking in a different language.

  • http://www.geneveith.com Veith

    You win, Katie, and with a real question, not one made up to be funny!

  • Katie

    I used to work for Alltel Wireless – a cell phone company. I answered calls in Technical Support. My favorite stupid question I ever got went like this:
    (C=Customer, M=Me)
    C:Can you help me with international dialing?
    M: I can help you with that. What error message do you hear after dialing your international number?
    C: Oh, the call will ring fine, but what I need help with is that when someone answers, I can’t understand them because they are talking in a different language.

  • http://www.geneveith.com Veith

    You win, Katie, and with a real question, not one made up to be funny!