Recovering Friendship

The decline in the size of families–from 3.5 to 2 children in 50 years–has also meant fewer cousins, fewer children in neighborhoods, and fewer relationships in general.  That means, according to Ted C. Fishman, that we need to recover friendships, which are also in decline, even though having friends is important on all kinds of scales of well-being.

I would throw in that part of the problem may be the way friendship, which is often a same-sex relationship, has been sexualized by the homosexual movement.  So called “queer theorists” in academia are interpreting virtually every close friendship on the part of historical figures is evidence that they are gay.  And the counseling and support groups in schools often encourage young people who have the intense friendships often characteristic of adolescence to think they must be gay.   But one of the most beneficial qualities of friendship, according to the classic authors, is that it is a close personal relationship that specifically is not sexual.

In fact, some Christians are seeking to channel gay feelings into non-sexual friendships.  See, for example, this and this.  Wesley Hill has written a book on the subject, Spiritual Friendship. [Read more...]

Celibacy & friendship

Wesley Hill is a gay Christian who agrees with the Biblical teachings on homosexuality and is celibate.  He writes for First Things, among other places, and provides a useful perspective on the current controversies about gays and the church.  In a response to the shutting down of Exodus International, he makes the point that the Christian tradition has some rich, practical teaching  about two disciplines that can be of enormous help to gays (as well as non-gays):  celibacy and spiritual friendship (in which same-sex relationships can be fulfilling without being sexual). [Read more...]


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