Daily Beast: Bridezillas vs. old-fashioned ties that bind

And now for something completely different.

Yes, I am about to praise an article published by The Daily Beast.

Yes, I know this is a first-person article, written in a magazine-journalism style.

Yes, I know that it is a work of advocacy journalism, one written by a scribe who describes her point of view as that of the “post-religious Americans.”

Nevertheless, Hannah Seligson’s “The Me, Me, Me Wedding: How America is exporting its Bridezilla culture” contains all kinds of news hooks — for American newsrooms and those elsewhere — and is packed with interesting reporting as well as commentary on what can happen when the credit-card world of American materialism, literally, marries the world of the so called “nones” (that’s the religiously unaffiliated folks in that famous Pew Forum study).

My journalistic question, in this case, is why we are not seeing more hard, factual news coverage of some of these issues. Surely we are past the point where male-dominated newsrooms automatically think of stories involving weddings, families and money as pure “style” pieces?

Seligson opens, as magazine pieces often do, with an anecdote about her own not-so-old-fashioned wedding and her attempts to honor the beliefs of her parents and others:

In the best possible way, our wedding wasn’t about us. … It was about honoring thousands of years of Jewish tradition and providing some nachas, the Yiddish term for parental joy, to our parents, grandparents, and other assorted relatives and guests. The most basic parental dictum we heeded was no shellfish and no meat to meet my parents’ dietary restrictions, even though neither my husband nor I keep kosher or are vegetarians.

Now that’s a personal specific, a symbolic detail. What’s the big theme here, the one I think deserves more news attention? Spot the hot terms in this summary material:

In many pockets of 21st-century America, the idea of the wedding as something communal is anathema — a relic from a bygone era or the realm of the devoutly religious. Nuptials today are defined by your Pinterest board, of which there are a multiplying number of wedding-related ones, three-day destination extravaganzas, and $200 spoons from Michael C. Fina. So, many American weddings have evolved into a fixation with material details, trials of abject devotion by members of the wedding party, and resigned acceptance of bridal crusades for perfection that threaten to crush all in their path. Because, well, you deserve it — it’s your day.

Now we have exported our unique brand of the “me, me, me” consumer-driven wedding-mania outside our borders.

Here come the facts. In China, she notes, the average middle-class wedding costs more than the income grandparents once earned in their lifetimes, something like $12,000 — a year’s disposable income a family in places like Beijing and Shanghai. The average cost of a wedding is up 270 percent in South Korea is about 13 years.

What’s the bottom line in all of this?

[Read more...]


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