The Stories We Tell Ourselves

If you follow this blog you’ve undoubtedly noticed a break in the content, first slowing from a run to a walk over the course of the last year, then finally to an almost complete standstill over the last couple of months. If the struggles I’ve been working through weren’t so personal and intimate, I would [Read More…]

How the Bible Views Humanity (and How to Get Over It)

The Bible’s estimation of human nature is very, very low. If you were raised in an evangelical Christian setting, you learned how to dress it up and make it sound gracious and forgiving. You learned how to sugar coat the condemnation heaped upon humanity by the biblical writers, making very bad news somehow sound like [Read More…]

How Christianity Stunted My Relational Growth

I used to think I was a relationship expert. Boy, was I wrong. I was married for 16 years, 14 of which were pretty good years. By “pretty good” I mean that we felt like we were a pretty good team, and others seemed to agree with us. We never fought, never raised our voices [Read More…]

Songs of My Deconversion

For much of this past weekend I found myself cruising at 30,000 feet without a reliable internet connection to stream any current music. So I took a stroll down memory lane, clicking through some of the songs I’ve had stored on my phone since way back in the earlier days of my deconversion. I was [Read More…]

The Predatory Side of Religion

Those of us who used to be devout face a tricky challenge when we go through trying times. There used to be easier ways for us to share our pains and losses with others and receive support. Church has its drawbacks, to be sure, but after we leave it behind we find we are giving up a source of community [Read More…]

We’re Committed to Transparency, But This Conversation Never Happened

Last weekend I was contacted independently by three different volunteers with Recovering From Religion, each one at varying degrees of discomfort about a letter they had just received from the board of the organization. Two of them shared the text of that letter with me because it contained language disparaging both my work and my [Read More…]

Why Does Apostasy Hurt Some More Than Others?

I’ve had this idea rolling around in my head for some time, and I’d like to take a straw poll with my readers to see if I’m onto something or if I’m just imagining things. I’ve noticed that many of my post-theistic friends have horror stories to tell about how their families and communities responded to [Read More…]

Nice Reputation There, Be a Shame If Something Happened To It

When you lose your support network as completely as I did when I left my faith, you learn to develop an internal compass less subject to the whims of other people. Of course, you will always have to seek advice from others, because everyone needs mentors from time to time. But like I vaguetweeted the [Read More…]

So Long, Self: How Christianity Teaches You to Hate Yourself

One of the great joys of living in the Bible Belt is that you can hear Christian music played overhead almost anywhere you go. Just last weekend I had to make stops at a coffee shop, a gym, a fried chicken place, a doughnut place (I know, the irony), a clinic office, and a pharmacy, and [Read More…]

My First Christmas Without Christ

About a year ago, towards the end of my deconversion, I wasn’t comfortable saying I was a “Capital A” Atheist. I still kept praying and wanting some belief. I dabbled in paganism for a bit, trying to plan a solstice celebration of sorts because the solstice was on a new moon, which I thought was [Read More…]