Losing Your Religion and Finding Yourself Again

I’m gonna level with you. I’ve been struggling lately. Most days I do my best to look at the big picture, to take the high road, and to find the longest view of religion I can manage despite the baggage I’ve accumulated from my years within the walls of the church (plus the years that [Read More…]

How Do You Measure the Worth of a Man?

How do you measure the worth of a man? I know you’re supposed to say that all human life is valuable, and I’m not disputing that. Human life, indeed all life from where I sit, is inherently valuable because life is fleeting and therefore precious. In fact, life itself is a “natural miracle” in the [Read More…]

It’s Okay to Still Like Christmas

Good morning, and Merry Christmas :) And yes, that was an atheist wishing you a happy holiday, despite not subscribing to the religion behind it. Because you know what? People can enjoy special occasions even when they come from traditions not their own. And in my case, as a former Christian myself, it was my tradition. [Read More…]

Songs of My Deconversion

For much of this past weekend I found myself cruising at 30,000 feet without a reliable internet connection to stream any current music. So I took a stroll down memory lane, clicking through some of the songs I’ve had stored on my phone since way back in the earlier days of my deconversion. I was [Read More…]

When Your Christian Friends Give You Reconversion Homework

I have several well-meaning believers in my life. These people, for good or for ill, often come to me with requests: “Will you come to church with me?” “Will you read the book of John for me?” “Will you listen to this song for me?” So far, I’ve only said no to one of these [Read More…]

Shoot Christians Say to Me (Video): 17 Common Challenges & What I Say Back

Last fall I had the opportunity to address a room full of deconverts like myself at a conference especially designed for “apostates” like us. Apostacon was held in Dallas, TX, last year from September 18-20, keynoted by Penn & Teller, who were as entertaining as always. I spoke on the second day of the conference [Read More…]

Heart Shaped Scars: Coping with the Loss of Faith and Family

The day before my father died, I fell down and skinned my ankle.  It was one of those stupid mistakes that you don’t regret until you are plummeting toward the pavement at 9.8 meters per second-per second. I was going to take a picture with my phone near the side of the road. (It was [Read More…]

When the In-Laws Try to Help

An online friend recounted a story this week, and it touched a nerve for me. He and his wife have been working through their differences since he became an atheist, and it sounds like they are making some progress, perhaps arriving at a few compromises. But anyone who has walked through this knows that the [Read More…]

My First Christmas Without Christ

About a year ago, towards the end of my deconversion, I wasn’t comfortable saying I was a “Capital A” Atheist. I still kept praying and wanting some belief. I dabbled in paganism for a bit, trying to plan a solstice celebration of sorts because the solstice was on a new moon, which I thought was [Read More…]

Christianity Has a Major Boundary Problem

Holiday season is upon us, and that means many of my fellow deconverts will once again be facing their families for the annual “Come to Jesus” speeches, the subtle and not-so-subtle attempts at evangelism, and in general the myriad forms of manipulation that have kept them at a fair distance for all the other months [Read More…]