My Struggle with Infertility

When I got married at 19 years old, I didn’t expect or even plan on trying to have children right away. I was in college and my husband was just starting his career here in the US. But as a result of a routine doctor appointment, I happen to find out that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)-a condition that would make it very difficult for us to conceive, we were told (and that doctor was right). So, even though we weren’t planning on trying to conceive for some time, it suddenly became hig … [Read more...]

Old Friend

Procrastinating, I checked my SPAM folder, telling myself maybe something got misfiled. One thing led to another, and soon enough I was browsing an Islamic education website – the children’s section of course. And then there it was – the familiar name that appeared as the author of a new charming children’s book. I looked at the name again and realized that it was my old friend who had moved away about a year after both of our first children were born -over seven years ago now.Ours was an ins … [Read more...]

There’s No Other Name for Mama

I see her in the spaces she no longer occupies. Every room still holds outlines of her presence, and as I walk in, I feel like I just missed her. When I am still enough, I feel her being superimposed inside me; and she is breathing through my pores. Sometimes I want to rage against the thin veil that separates us. I know she is just on the other side, not so far away that her scent no longer lingers.Yet she is gone. And the irrevocable nature of her journey beckons me to examine mine. I … [Read more...]

Reason Number (insert high number here) I’m Grateful To Be Muslim

A generation ago there were two brothers in my family (my grandmother’s brothers). One was a laborer. The other was a doctor. They were both married. They were both alcoholics. The laborer lost his life to a failed liver (a direct result of his alcoholism). The doctor took his own life leaving behind his wife and children (although it is impossible to know the exact reason he committed this act, the increased depression that resulted from his addiction to alcohol was undoubtedly a f … [Read more...]

One kid, Two Kids, Three Kids

I’m not sure when it starts, but at one point in a girl’s life she wishes, “I want to have ___ kids!”  She may even go further by saying how many boys and how many girls, and what she wants to name them.Then she gets married. And oh the pressures of having a baby or getting pregnant and when! Does she still have the same wish she did long ago?I remember saying I wanted four children. And if Allah would give me two boys and two girls, I would be so happy because that would be so perfect! … [Read more...]

Just A Snapshot

Although Fall is my favorite season I do love summer. Warm sunshine, BBQ’s and festivals make my world go ‘round during the summer months. Last year my family and I attended the annual Muslim Summer Festival with thousands of other Ottawans.It takes place at a park that backs on to a beach and with the 30-degree (celsius) weather we were having that day, I was certainly glad to take a break from the park and frolic in the water with my daughter. After some splish-splashing fun we decided t … [Read more...]


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