Counselor’s Corner- Controlling Parental ‘Hot Spots’

Every time I vow not to act a certain way with my kids, I end up doing it again. There seems to be these certain “hot spots” that really irritate me about my children. Like when my daughter’s handwriting is not legible or when she cries after a not-so-horrible fall. I know that these things are not that bad, but for some reason when I see them, I turn into someone I cannot recognize. Deep down inside I know that the way I react is wrong, and almost always feel regretful afterwards, but it just ha … [Read more...]

GrowMama Roundup: The Season of Motherhood

A constant question that arises in our minds as mothers is how we can maintain individual fulfillment while making sure that our children are being nurtured and cared for. One of our GrowMama mothers posited the question this way: Why is the mother’s role frequently limited to raising leaders instead of being leaders, or being the seekers of change? Am I raising two girls so that they will raise more girls who will raise more girls? Sometimes I wonder when WE get to be our own people in … [Read more...]

The Luxury of Choice

One of the basic attitudes a Muslim tries to embody is that obedience to Allah (swt) is a blessing from Allah (swt). We are not doing any favors to Allah by obeying Him; rather, we are honored by being allowed to be in His obedience. Feeling arrogant in our obedience is a trick of Shaitan, from which we ask protection.Sometimes I wonder, however, if we carry this attitude to other things beyond acts of obedience – praying, fasting… you know, the Islamic and religious “stuff.” Do we carry this … [Read more...]

On Motherhood and International Diplomacy

Our decision to have a baby came about three years after we were married. Initially, we planned to do a whole list of things (including buying a house) and then start trying.  But on the night of January 5, 2002 while driving home from the hospital after visiting our friends’ newborn baby, I told him, “That’s it.  I want to start trying.” Exactly one year and four days later on January 9, 2003 we were blessed with twins:  a boy and a girl.As much as we hate to admit it, we really do turn into … [Read more...]

The Woman I Met

I met you in the park today.You were playing with a little girl, who looked to be your grand daughter. You asked me where I was from, then told me you were from out of town, taking care of the little two-year-old, while her dad was in the hospital, dying of brain cancer.You said it so matter-of-factly, I could tell you were way past grieving.He was only 34 years old, and the cancer had been in remission for 7 years, but had come back 4 months ago. This little girl was his only child, … [Read more...]

Building Up: A Reflection on Adoption

My husband and I didn’t know that attending the charity event benefitting orphans in the community and abroad would dramatically affect the way we viewed building up our family. We generally jump at the opportunity to sponsor orphans or donate to institutions that provide care and support for them. In part this is due to the strong encouragement in Islam to care for orphans, as the prophet Muhammad stressed it so much that even his poorest companions would be among the first to come to the aid o … [Read more...]


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