Guilt- A Very Powerful Feeling

I hate feeling guilty. It’s a gut-wrenching feeling of disappointment that I let someone down, that someone is upset at me. It’s a powerful feeling that gets hold of me and can make my mind spin in ten different directions. It makes me read people’s faces to make sure they aren’t too angry at something I may or may not have done. It makes me say extra sweet words (even if they were the ones who initiated the altercation), just to make the situation better. It makes me feel bad about myself. The … [Read more...]

No Words.

            I tried to write about Trayvon Martin. I tried to write about Tamir Rice. I tried to write about Ismail, Ahed, Zakaria, and Mohammed, the four boys killed by an Israeli airstrike at the beach in Gaza last summer. I tried to write about the 200+ kidnapped girls in Nigeria, the children massacred at a school in Peshawar, Pakistan. I tried to write aboutGeorge Carter,the boy in my city shot and killed on his way to school. I tried, but the words wouldn’t come, or rather, they came, but t … [Read more...]

On Being a Woman Without Children: Advice to Mothers and Others

As I sit down to write my thoughts and reflections, I pause to think, where should this story begin and how should it be told. It is an accumulation of 9 years of emotions and confusion, actions and experiences, reflection and clarity, and acceptance with perspective. It's a simple story of this chapter of my life as a married woman expecting that the next chapter would be as a mother with children. I waited month after month and year after year for this chapter to arrive. In essence, my story … [Read more...]

God’s Mercy and Times of Hardship

Allah (swt) is more merciful to His believing slaves than a mother is to her child. I love my daughter, almost to a fault. The crinkle of her eyes when she laughs, the way her lips curve downwards when she is asleep. The new words she learns daily and the mischief she always seems to get into. She reminds me of her Baba, may Allah have mercy on him. But I sometimes make decisions that cause her distress. I take things away from her that I know will cause her harm. Not everything is a toy, not … [Read more...]

Pick Up Your Broken Heart

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, declared that indeed, “The Muslim Ummah is like one body. If the eye is in pain then the whole body is in pain and if the head is in pain then the whole body is in pain.” We find ourselves in collective pain as current world events are breaking the hearts of millions around the country. We are witnessing unbearable levels of suffering that our generation has never before faced. The list is long: Palestine, Burma, Iraq, Syria, CAR, and many more. Fa … [Read more...]

A Word from my Son

 As I walked into the room filled with kids, “BOOM” went the RPG as the kid blew up his opponent’s head in “Call of Duty 2″ and screamed, “Hell yeah, that’s a streak of ten!” I was at someone’s house for dinner with my parents. It was just me- neither my brother or sister accompanied us this evening. We were one of the first guests to arrive and our host told me to go upstairs to the kids’ room where all the kids were hanging out. She didn’t introduce me to her son or show me where the room was, … [Read more...]


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