Letting Go

They were little: crawling, babbling, teething, walking, sleeping, waking. First it was preschool, then elementary, off to middle school and finally into high school. Plays, concerts, classroom parties, volunteering, cub scouts, girl scouts, softball, karate, gymnastics, practice, soccer, swimming, art projects, science projects, religion, mock trials, honors classes, MUN, AP, IB, MSA, GPA, SAT's, college applications and 18 years later ...University.It's here, the time when they go. For some … [Read more...]

Resentment or Reward?

I have a vision of how I want to earn the pleasure of Allah (swt). This vision is filled with intensive learning, spiritual halaqas, and being in the company of those who fill me with His remembrance. I yearn for a deeper understanding of the Qur'an, learning the etymology of the rich Arabic words that are pregnant with meaning. I dream of going abroad, praying fajr in different masaajid, sitting at the feet of learned scholars, going from one spiritual high to the next. I find myself … [Read more...]

To Him we belong, and to Him is our return.

Being pregnant was a surreal experience for me. I had never liked pets. You probably can’t see the connection between pets and pregnancy, but for a person who was never comfortable around little living, breathing creatures with anatomies that differed from mine, a slight stretch of the imagination is all you need to see what I mean. Plus the two were almost totally absent from my childhood. So when I felt the baby kick, and later hiccup, bend her elbows, and stretch her legs, I was in awe of A … [Read more...]

The Paper Boy

It was near the end of last summer when my son Mahmood, then eleven years old, got excited about a simple flyer inserted into our local paper.  It was an announcement that a new newspaper carrier was needed for our street.  I, on the other hand, had reservations about the idea.  In my mind, taking on a newspaper route was a lot of work and involved a great deal of logistics.  I let him sleep on it and sure enough, his interest was still alive the next day.  So I told him to go ahead and call the … [Read more...]

Then it Struck me: I am reborn…

 Since my son has opened his eyes to the new, blurry to his eyes, world, I started seeing the world differently. Throughout this last year and the years to come, I am being raised all over again along with my son. I am being recycled as a new human being, but this time with more patience, compassion and appreciation for the value of life. Motherhood has become a necessary ingredient defining me rather than just a name on a birth certificate. Having a child has made me value life. It has made m … [Read more...]

Defining the World, Defining You, My Son

  My eldest, who is fascinated with lists comparing largest tsunamis or most populated cities in the world, one day asks me at the dinner table, “Mama, what is the tallest building in New York City?” I look at him and hesitate, “Well, umm, it used to be these two buildings called the Twin Towers….” and I can see his eyes transfixed on me as he sees the caveat coming….”but it’s now the Empire State Building.”  And now he’s stopped eating and the inevitable question, “what happened?” I stare at him … [Read more...]


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