“Oh, is this your first?”

It seems like an innocent question, “Oh, is this your first?” But inside of me I am not sure how to respond. Do I say, “No, no, it’s my second?” or do I say, “Actually, this is my sixth.” And then watch as they look quizzically for the remainder. Sometimes if I feel a certain kinship with the questioner, I’ll go into it, but then more often than not, I don’t like to hear them say, “Oh, I went through a miscarriage.” It’s not the phrase; it’s just the way it is said; kind of like it dismisses my e … [Read more...]

Eid Mubarak from GrowMama

Eid ul-Fitr commemorates the end of our blessed month of Ramadan. May we be granted the reward of Ramadan, and may God accept all our worship and charity. On the day of Eid al-Fitr, Imam Ali bin Abi Talib (peace be upon him) delivered a sermon in which he said:   "O people! Verily this day of yours is the day when the righteous are awarded and the wretched are losers. It is a day which is similar to the one on which you shall be standing (before your Lord). Therefore, when you come out of you … [Read more...]

God’s Mercy and Times of Hardship

Allah (swt) is more merciful to His believing slaves than a mother is to her child. I love my daughter, almost to a fault. The crinkle of her eyes when she laughs, the way her lips curve downwards when she is asleep. The new words she learns daily and the mischief she always seems to get into. She reminds me of her Baba, may Allah have mercy on him. But I sometimes make decisions that cause her distress. I take things away from her that I know will cause her harm. Not everything is a toy, not … [Read more...]

Ya Qaafidu, Ya Raafiu

Indeed All praises are for You, My Lord. May Your Peace and Blessings be upon our Beloved Rasool.Today Ya Allah, I reach for you in the lowest of health. Ya Qaafidu do not abase me. Ya Raafiu elevate me to a high honor. Let me be one who is oft loving and pleasing to You in intention, word and action. Give me the breath, knowledge and strength to serve You as a mother, daughter, sister, neighbor and however You see fit. Show me how to use my skills to be one of your beloved. Teach me … [Read more...]

Pick Up Your Broken Heart

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, declared that indeed, “The Muslim Ummah is like one body. If the eye is in pain then the whole body is in pain and if the head is in pain then the whole body is in pain.” We find ourselves in collective pain as current world events are breaking the hearts of millions around the country. We are witnessing unbearable levels of suffering that our generation has never before faced. The list is long: Palestine, Burma, Iraq, Syria, CAR, and many more. Fa … [Read more...]

Family Projects that Capture the Ramadan Spirit

As Ramadan progresses this year, I have been tackling all the to-do lists in my head for things that need to be cleaned, purchased, decorated, and prepared. Additionally, my son is finally “old” enough  to understand the concept of Ramadan, so I wanted to create a memorable introduction to this blessed time of year for him. Thankfully, I had a lot of inspiration to work from through friends and social media.Instead of becoming overwhelmed with how much was out there, I pulled myself together … [Read more...]

A Private Sorrow

I have a sadness buried deep within my heart. It’s a private sorrow shared by many of us who don’t realize how we are ultimately connected, sisters in grief. Last year, just a week before Mother’s day, I had a miscarriage.I’m one of the lucky ones who has been already blessed with two children Alhumdulillah. Each time before, I got pregnant months, even weeks, within ‘deciding’ that we wanted a child. I was foolish and arrogant enough to think that it was up to us, specifically up to me, to t … [Read more...]

And the Minutes Tick By

I am waiting.I know the time will come. I just don't know when.I try to get things done, and piddle around finding things to do. I prepare as best as I can think of, yet I feel it's never enough.I know my life is going to change forever, yet in the back of my mind I feel calm.I finish some work, start some more, and keep on counting the days, wondering when. Always wondering.Who knew that awaiting birth was so similar to awaiting death?I know I am going to die. Every day … [Read more...]

Cupcakes for Two

I hated who I was when I became a mother for the first time. I was angry, low, stressed and I did not take care of myself mentally, spiritually or physically. I remember it being tough time for me and my marriage. I had become a negative person and pushed away a lot of family members. I fought with my husband daily. My daughter was born 2 months premature and I think I read too many books that made me paranoid. I hated listening to advice from family members and just wanted to “break free” from … [Read more...]

Recovering Lost Connections

I recently returned from a wedding where, for the first time, I made some observations from the lens of a mother. The groom was busy enjoying time with his bride, as usual, while his mom gracefully stood aside. After some time, he left to go to the men's party when his mother noticed he had forgotten to eat his meal. So she picked up his plate and ran after him, heals, ball gown, and all. It hit me. All too often, we overlook the fact that even though we may let our connection and consideration … [Read more...]