Nursing vs. Pumping

Before I ever got pregnant, I always thought that nursing a precious baby was one of the most beautiful things ever. That particular peaceful connection between mother and baby was something I was eager to experience and hold onto for a long time.Then, my son came along. I was induced 3 weeks earlier than my due date (there are some studies that link those two things with my next point) and he didn’t latch on very well. When he did latch, even if it wasn’t the “correct” way, I would keep him … [Read more...]

My Lovey

I had finished praying magrib, and began to unwrap my headscarf.“Sunnah mama?” Maryam asked.That caught me off guard. I had gotten somewhat used to the excuse of being too tired to pray my Sunnah prayers and wasn’t praying them regularly anymore. I’m glad to have someone who calls me out on it."Yes, mama, of course."As I bring my hands up for my two rakat of Sunnah prayers, I’m wondering about her motives. Maybe she’s trying to postpone bedtime, or maybe she’s really learned t … [Read more...]

Holding Onto Identity

It's what defines us... who we are, what we stand for, our past and our future. We hold on to values, culture, language, religion, morals, family, ethics.... we hold on to identity. We all struggle in varying degrees with our sense of identity, some more than others. We strive to keep the norms, hand down the dress, memorize the songs, pass on the recipes, learn the customs but most importantly teach our children their roots and the roots of their ancestors.We pass on to them the foundations … [Read more...]

Letting Go

They were little: crawling, babbling, teething, walking, sleeping, waking. First it was preschool, then elementary, off to middle school and finally into high school. Plays, concerts, classroom parties, volunteering, cub scouts, girl scouts, softball, karate, gymnastics, practice, soccer, swimming, art projects, science projects, religion, mock trials, honors classes, MUN, AP, IB, MSA, GPA, SAT's, college applications and 18 years later ...University.It's here, the time when they go. For some … [Read more...]

Resentment or Reward?

I have a vision of how I want to earn the pleasure of Allah (swt). This vision is filled with intensive learning, spiritual halaqas, and being in the company of those who fill me with His remembrance. I yearn for a deeper understanding of the Qur'an, learning the etymology of the rich Arabic words that are pregnant with meaning. I dream of going abroad, praying fajr in different masaajid, sitting at the feet of learned scholars, going from one spiritual high to the next. I find myself … [Read more...]

To Him we belong, and to Him is our return.

Being pregnant was a surreal experience for me. I had never liked pets. You probably can’t see the connection between pets and pregnancy, but for a person who was never comfortable around little living, breathing creatures with anatomies that differed from mine, a slight stretch of the imagination is all you need to see what I mean. Plus the two were almost totally absent from my childhood. So when I felt the baby kick, and later hiccup, bend her elbows, and stretch her legs, I was in awe of A … [Read more...]


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