The Little Gremlin

I always used to drive really fast; much faster than the speed limit. Driving was never a pleasure in and of itself, but a means to an end. Until of course I came to the realization that my time in the car is a magical time. A time that I use to catch up with friends and family and also a time to get a bit of a spiritual pick me up.  From the recommendation of a dear sister, I began listening to Hesham Al-Awadi’s cd-series, “Children Around the Prophet.” He explains the tender nature of … [Read more...]

Courage to Change

Not many of us crave change.  In fact, many of us will try to avoid it and even resist it. But change is a constant in life. We are born as tiny helpless infants and if Allah (SwT) wills, we grow into active children and youth, then ambitious adults, and finally we grow old and become frail and weak yet again. We change not only physically, but emotionally.  Allah (SwT) tells us in the Quran: “And that it is He who makes one laugh and weep” (Surah Al-Najm: 44).  One day we are happy, and … [Read more...]

Woman. You.

What are these bonds that evade us? Where is the woman that will remain standing with me when the storm blows over and shakes us to our roots? Are these the dreams of a middle school girl who can't come to grips with the reality of womanhood? Am I pining for a time past and can never be recaptured? Can true bonds  only be forged among the innocent of hearts? Am I too judgmental, bossy, intrusive, brash, needy and attention seeking to be worthy of a real friendship? We are mirrors of each … [Read more...]

Resentment or Reward?

I have a vision of how I want to earn the pleasure of Allah (swt). This vision is filled with intensive learning, spiritual halaqas, and being in the company of those who fill me with His remembrance. I yearn for a deeper understanding of the Qur'an, learning the etymology of the rich Arabic words that are pregnant with meaning. I dream of going abroad, praying fajr in different masaajid, sitting at the feet of learned scholars, going from one spiritual high to the next. I find myself … [Read more...]

The “D” word

It feels like drowning in the dark, and you don't know how to swim. Sometimes it feels like the sick feeling you have when you get the news that someone very close to you has a deadly disease. I can go on and on how horrible it feels but it won't be enough. That's what depression feels like. In the beginning nothing worked, I didn't know what was "happening" to me so my kind family doctor gave me anti-depressants. I remember how good they felt, "IT" was over I thought. Yes I didn't feel … [Read more...]

The Good Word

Many people lose their ability to speak after experiencing a stroke. My uncle was one of them, may Allah grant him a speedy recovery. They understand speech, but cannot formulate words, read or write due to ensuing damage in a particular region of the brain. They can, however, still curse. One explanation is that speech requires higher intellectual functions, whereas the ability to curse comes from a more primitive part of the brain. So, is it biologically easier for us to curse? I don’t know … [Read more...]


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