Resentment or Reward?

I have a vision of how I want to earn the pleasure of Allah (swt). This vision is filled with intensive learning, spiritual halaqas, and being in the company of those who fill me with His remembrance. I yearn for a deeper understanding of the Qur'an, learning the etymology of the rich Arabic words that are pregnant with meaning. I dream of going abroad, praying fajr in different masaajid, sitting at the feet of learned scholars, going from one spiritual high to the next. I find myself … [Read more...]

To Him we belong, and to Him is our return.

Being pregnant was a surreal experience for me. I had never liked pets. You probably can’t see the connection between pets and pregnancy, but for a person who was never comfortable around little living, breathing creatures with anatomies that differed from mine, a slight stretch of the imagination is all you need to see what I mean. Plus the two were almost totally absent from my childhood. So when I felt the baby kick, and later hiccup, bend her elbows, and stretch her legs, I was in awe of A … [Read more...]

Jannah

Tears streamed down my little ones eyes as they said goodbye to their grandparents yet another time. I gave them a hug and whispered reassuringly, “There are no goodbyes in Jannah.”Jannah. Heaven. Paradise. My absolute favorite discussion topic with young children. When a child is able to understand the concept of Jannah they have reached a very important milestone. They know the end game. Their life has direction. They begin to understand that serving Allah SWT is an essential component tha … [Read more...]

Remembering the Goal

Before getting married, marriage was all we thought about. We thought about it while attending conventions, walking to class, in class, leaving class, and surfing the Internet. “Who will complete half my deen?” It was an all-consuming thought that would sneak into our very core, putting our intentions into question. We even used to say, “Once I’m married, it will be so much easier to memorize Qur’an.” “Once I’m married, I can more easily work for the sake of Allah.” “Once I’m married, I can begin … [Read more...]

A Mother’s Reflections on Freedom Uprisings

As mothers, we always think of the children first. We know behind the headlines there are children who do not understand, hiding behind thin walls that do not protect them from gunshots and shouting in the streets.  Our hearts break for them, and we imagine what their mothers feel. Still, I remind myself that if I am feeling this way, then Allah is infinitely more merciful than me. Even in the most frightening, dangerous places on earth, Allah swt sends His servants to comfort the innocent and … [Read more...]

Embracing Solitude

I seek silence. Away from my baby's incessant demands, away from the madness of world events, away from talking points and talking heads, away from analysts and experts, away from the clamor disguised as music, away from constructed noise channels that refuse to leave me alone.Even as I shut down everything around me, I don't revel in complete silence. The constant hum of electricity penetrates my senses, the distant wail of an ambulance speaks of an urgency far away, the banging of a … [Read more...]


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