We asked some of our GrowMama writers to share a hadith or aya from the Qur’an that they have used to help their children develop a good habit. Here is what they had to say:
Inna Allaaha ma’ as-saabireen, “Indeed Allah is with the patient.” At times life is hard for young kids. Learning to write their name or tie shoe laces can bring on the biggest tears. I remind them that not everything can come easily. Allah is always with the mindful believer who remains steadfast and patient. It’s nice for them to know that a certain type of behavior is loved by Allah SWT and that His help will come insha’Allah.
With three little girls in the house, it’s all about fancy dresses, jewelry, and sparkles of any kind (even though I deliberately try to avoid this stereotypical regimen of girlhood–I’m almost ready to admit defeat). So I tried to share this hadeeth in that light. The Prophet (saw) said, “Wherever gentleness is present, it adorns. And whenever it is absent, it tarnishes.”
I try to use this hadeeth to teach gentleness in interacting with siblings. When you are gentle with your annoying little sister, you are acting with beauty. Do you want to be more beautiful? It is not how you dress or look in the mirror, but how you act. The true queen is kind to everyone, and helps her sister when she is crying and picks her up and brushes her off when she stumbles. When you want a toy, do not grab or shout. Be beautiful in your actions by practicing gentleness in every little thing.
I remind them when they dress up, because the point doesn’t always get through.”Would you like to be even more beautiful than just wearing clothes? Your dresses and necklaces are pretty but–”
“Yes, and earrings, but there’s something that will make you much more beautiful-”
“A crown too, but when you are gentle, you become the most beautiful you can be.”
“Don’t forget a bee-yooooooo-ti-ful skirt.”
My five-year old is a perfectionist, whether that’s good or bad depends on the day! She
was mesmerized after hearing the story of the companion she was named after. A few minutes later she asked me who the best person was. Was it this companion? Was it the Prophet? She decided that it was Allah and so she was going to be like Allah (may Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala be exalted of any comparison). After I explained to her that it wasn’t possible, she decided the Prophet was the best of role models. With this understanding that I think she grasps to a certain degree, even if theoretically, I attempt to interject the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) sayings or ahadith as often as possible. When she’s angry (and sometimes really can’t control her emotions) I remind her of the following hadith, “The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by her strength, but the strong is the one who controls herself while in anger.”
In the middle of preparing a gift for a friend, I remind her of the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him), “Exchange gifts and mutual love arises.”
One day after an incident happened and I was trying to explain to my daughter the consequences of her actions, she looked over with what I think was a semi-smirk and said, “and what did the Prophet say about that?” – I refuse to think she was being sarcastic!