GrowMama is pleased to share some real life advice from a mom deep in the trenches. GrowMama contributor and mother of three, Hala Amer, shares her tried and true advice to help diffuse and deactivate temper tantrums in this week’s two part series. Here are the remainder of the tips she’s come up with. You can read Part 1 of the series here.
7. Deep pressure and/or rocking and swinging.
- Hold them from behind, their feet forward (so they can’t kick you), hug them tight with their arms down (so they can’t hit). Do this for a few minutes. They will resist at first, and then they will slowly calm down. This basically has a very similar effect to swaddling. Rocking and swinging will also help calm them down.
- Try hanging him or her upside down. I know it sounds weird, but it distracts them and it helps some kids calm down.
8. Overstimulation & Calming Spaces.
When some kids tantrum, outside stimuli makes it worse (i.e. noise, lights, etc). Take them somewhere quiet, dim the lights, avoid yelling and let them get it out of their system in that sort of environment. I found that eliminating some of those extra stimuli helped shorten the tantrum.
Sometimes as a tantrum arises, redirecting their attention can help. Maybe just saying “Oh look at this awesome toy,” or suggesting something new to do or watch can stop it before it starts or gets worse.
10. Watch out for triggers.
Avoid circumstances that bring on tantrums. If they are more likely to happen if a child is hungry or tired, make sure they are well fed and rested when you go anywhere. If he doesn’t do well with crowds, avoid crowds. If he doesn’t do well with noise, avoid noise. If he’ll be missing a nap out to go somewhere, go later and let him have his nap.
Don’t ask your child if you want them to do something. It puts the power in their hands and sets you up for an answer you may not like, which may result in a tantrum. Likewise, don’t give them too many choices, it could be overwhelming for them. There is a time for that later, and they might not be mature enough or ready for that right now. Start off with 2 choices. If they can’t decide, let them know, if you don’t choose one, I will choose for you.
12. Seek medical advice.
Sometimes repeated violent tantrums are indicative of a bigger issue (i.e. speech delay, developmental delays, or other medical issues). If you have concerns and feel like they are excessive and extreme in your child, talk to your doctor. Best case scenario, they tell you all is well and this is just a phase, just like many other phases children go through.
Insha Allah with age, all of these issues improve drastically. May Allah protect all of our children and help us help them.
Hala is a full-time mom of 3 boys, homeschooler, occasional blogger, avid reader, closet superhero junkie, tea-enthusiast, chocolate-eater, aspiring foodie and founder of the Muslim Mom Network. She resides with her family in NJ.