I have a friend whose friends used to call her Spic & Span. Apparently she loves to clean. When I first entered her home, I understood why. MashaAllah she is one of those sisters who juggles many things and can still keep a clean, organized home. She has several young, happy kids with discipline, character and intelligence. Although I have not seen her in many years, I still think of her fondly and remember her example. It has taken me decades of life lessons to understand her secret. That is, the secret of being calm. Trusting that Allah (swt) will help her every step of the way.
Moms often forget, that they are NOT alone. With husbands at work, school, or volunteering, moms often feel isolated, insufficient in their parental duties or simply exhausted and overworked. Some moms even return to their trained professions to feel like they are good at something. The truth is, like everything in life, motherhood is a work in progress ( by the way…so is fatherhood). It takes time to develop new skills. InshaAllah, Allah will fill the gaps. Allah is Ar-Razzak, The Provider of all good things. Our job is to be consistent in our efforts and have a good intention. On the days when life seems most challenging on the home front, try this with the kids: breathe deep and offer a small act of kindness from the deepest part of your soul. Maybe it’s a hug, or a story or an ice cream cone. Maybe you can make a special dua for someone else in more need than yourself. Just try and find the calm. SubhanAllah it’s such a cleansing process. For children, these small acts of pure kindness can go a long way.
I write this to you today, because as simple as this concept sounds, I really wish someone said this to me when I had a newborn, or when I had a toddler with a newborn on the way. While I was impressed with this sister’s house cleaning etiquette, now I think it was her ability to calm her mind and purify her heart that really impressed me.
I chuckle when I think about her. At a small gathering she once said, “If a person cleans the top of their fridge, then you know they are really good cleaners.” So now, every time I clean the top of my fridge, I think of her and make dua for her precious family. I love them for the sake of Allah (swt) and I thank Allah, for sending her example to me.
Sarah Ibrahim is a loving mother of two budding mountain climbers. She enjoys healthy cooking, reading and finding creative ways for family exercise!