Blissful Moments

What is the meaning of joy? Does it mean you can eat ice cream all day or fill your shoes with sand from the playground as many times as you like? Or maybe it means to swing till you are truly exhausted? Or does it mean you are gifted with a special talent or an exclusive handmade dress? Baking cookies each Friday? Looking forward to the month of Ramadan? Joy is to be found in the small and oh so rich things. True joy can always be found whether one is tall, short, young,old, rich or poor.We … [Read more...]

Resentment or Reward?

I have a vision of how I want to earn the pleasure of Allah (swt). This vision is filled with intensive learning, spiritual halaqas, and being in the company of those who fill me with His remembrance. I yearn for a deeper understanding of the Qur'an, learning the etymology of the rich Arabic words that are pregnant with meaning. I dream of going abroad, praying fajr in different masaajid, sitting at the feet of learned scholars, going from one spiritual high to the next. I find myself … [Read more...]

The “D” word

It feels like drowning in the dark, and you don't know how to swim. Sometimes it feels like the sick feeling you have when you get the news that someone very close to you has a deadly disease. I can go on and on how horrible it feels but it won't be enough. That's what depression feels like.In the beginning nothing worked, I didn't know what was "happening" to me so my kind family doctor gave me anti-depressants. I remember how good they felt, "IT" was over I thought. Yes I didn't feel … [Read more...]

Jannah

Tears streamed down my little ones eyes as they said goodbye to their grandparents yet another time. I gave them a hug and whispered reassuringly, “There are no goodbyes in Jannah.”Jannah. Heaven. Paradise. My absolute favorite discussion topic with young children. When a child is able to understand the concept of Jannah they have reached a very important milestone. They know the end game. Their life has direction. They begin to understand that serving Allah SWT is an essential component tha … [Read more...]

Then it Struck me: I am reborn…

 Since my son has opened his eyes to the new, blurry to his eyes, world, I started seeing the world differently. Throughout this last year and the years to come, I am being raised all over again along with my son. I am being recycled as a new human being, but this time with more patience, compassion and appreciation for the value of life. Motherhood has become a necessary ingredient defining me rather than just a name on a birth certificate. Having a child has made me value life. It has made m … [Read more...]

Defining the World, Defining You, My Son

  My eldest, who is fascinated with lists comparing largest tsunamis or most populated cities in the world, one day asks me at the dinner table, “Mama, what is the tallest building in New York City?” I look at him and hesitate, “Well, umm, it used to be these two buildings called the Twin Towers….” and I can see his eyes transfixed on me as he sees the caveat coming….”but it’s now the Empire State Building.”  And now he’s stopped eating and the inevitable question, “what happened?” I stare at him … [Read more...]


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