A Private Sorrow

I have a sadness buried deep within my heart. It’s a private sorrow shared by many of us who don’t realize how we are ultimately connected, sisters in grief. Last year, just a week before Mother’s day, I had a miscarriage.I’m one of the lucky ones who has been already blessed with two children Alhumdulillah. Each time before, I got pregnant months, even weeks, within ‘deciding’ that we wanted a child. I was foolish and arrogant enough to think that it was up to us, specifically up to me, to t … [Read more...]

Mother Goose

It was a dark and chilly night, but she did not budge from her position. There was  an absolute sense of focus and fearlessness in her eyes. She was determined and remained steadfast in her goal. She knew what she had to do. It was what Allah had intended for her. Nothing could stop her from keeping her baby gosling eggs warm and safe in their nest. There is so much for us to learn from this mother goose, such as how to own the roles and responsibilities that Allah has given us. Before we can … [Read more...]

The Ramadan Sale

I love a good sale.  When I had my second daughter I started what has become a close and personal relationship with online shopping.  I was able to try things on in the privacy of my own home and when things didn’t work out I simply returned them.  But most of all the deals were great.  I reassured my husband on more than one occasion that I was saving money, not spending it. But I’ve stopped online shopping now.  I’ve given up online sales for an even better sale: Ramadan.  Siraj Wahhaj once sa … [Read more...]

Flawless Imperfection

It was a dark night, with the moon nowhere to be seen. We were driving home after having a great time at a family gathering. The best part was witnessing my three-year-old, Maryam, genuinely enjoy herself. My heart would just burst with joy every time she lit up, getting a thrill from seeing the pizza, the princess cake, the bounce house, and of course, all her friends and family. This invariably led to her falling asleep in the car on the way. So let me rephrase: it was a dark and peaceful … [Read more...]

The Time Has Come to Move

“My dears, the time has come to move.” I still remember the line from The Berenstain Bears’ Moving Day book that was given to us by the moving company taking us from coast to coast. It was a delightful story to share with my boys and we read it countless times.Over a decade later, here we are moving again, not so far this time, but still a significant move nonetheless. My boys have outgrown The Berenstain Bears, but it is me who keeps thinking back to that beloved children’s book. “The time h … [Read more...]

Better Hands than Mine

My Experience with Vaginal Birth after C-SectionI had just arrived at my obstetrician’s office after finishing the five-month ultrasound at the hospital. I was expecting a quick visit since I was gearing up to switch doctors. It was time to make the first all-important decision of my pregnancy: who will delivery me via VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean). My current doctor doesn’t do VBACs, but isn’t against them. That did not console me much. I had spent five-months searching for her rep … [Read more...]

Home for Christmas

It’s that time of year again, when the snow begins to fall, the sky is a silver ribbon, and the cold air hangs low, seeping into every bone. Fireplaces burn bright, hot cocoa sits on the stove top, stockings hang low, and families gather to decorate their Christmas trees, as the scent of pine fills their homes. Presents are wrapped with love and care, and cookies and milk placed on bedside tables as hopeful children anticipate the return of Santa Claus. On this special day, relatives come from n … [Read more...]

Ramadan Maintenance

As the years go by, I continue to make the intention to maintain my “Ramadan passion” when our dear friend passes. And here we are again on the verge of watching our beloved Ramadan leave us. This past year I tried something different and would like to share those experiences with you. When my passion was starting to wane, I held on to its light by enrolling in an online class with Seekers Guidance. Each week the lesson focused on one aspect to apply in my daily life. The aspect I welcomed like a … [Read more...]

Fathers and Sons

My life revolves around building blocks and sticky hands, plastic cars and before-bed giggles, snack time sweets and wind-up trains, and days and nights immersed in the mind of a just turned two year old. Since my son was born I have been exploring this role called ‘mother’, trying to seek out my way, stumbling often, frustrated often, but always aware of the huge blessing and huge responsibility that comes wrapped up in the tiny package of my little boy.I want for him all the good that I’v … [Read more...]

Kitchen Pot Holders

I’ve been married for 11 years. Like a treasured friend, are my kitchen pot holders. The pair are stained with curry and tomato paste, faded, tethered and almost burnt through in spots. There are several new pairs in the drawer but, for some reason I just can’t let these ones go.My pot holders were there during those first newlywed meals and traveled with me from our studio apartment to the one bedroom, then the two bedroom, later cross country. Each floral square teamed nobly by my side while … [Read more...]