A Private Sorrow

I have a sadness buried deep within my heart. It’s a private sorrow shared by many of us who don’t realize how we are ultimately connected, sisters in grief. Last year, just a week before Mother’s day, I had a miscarriage.I’m one of the lucky ones who has been already blessed with two children Alhumdulillah. Each time before, I got pregnant months, even weeks, within ‘deciding’ that we wanted a child. I was foolish and arrogant enough to think that it was up to us, specifically up to me, to t … [Read more...]

And the Minutes Tick By

I am waiting.I know the time will come. I just don't know when.I try to get things done, and piddle around finding things to do. I prepare as best as I can think of, yet I feel it's never enough.I know my life is going to change forever, yet in the back of my mind I feel calm.I finish some work, start some more, and keep on counting the days, wondering when. Always wondering.Who knew that awaiting birth was so similar to awaiting death?I know I am going to die. Every day … [Read more...]

Cupcakes for Two

I hated who I was when I became a mother for the first time. I was angry, low, stressed and I did not take care of myself mentally, spiritually or physically. I remember it being tough time for me and my marriage. I had become a negative person and pushed away a lot of family members. I fought with my husband daily. My daughter was born 2 months premature and I think I read too many books that made me paranoid. I hated listening to advice from family members and just wanted to “break free” from … [Read more...]

Recovering Lost Connections

I recently returned from a wedding where, for the first time, I made some observations from the lens of a mother. The groom was busy enjoying time with his bride, as usual, while his mom gracefully stood aside. After some time, he left to go to the men's party when his mother noticed he had forgotten to eat his meal. So she picked up his plate and ran after him, heals, ball gown, and all. It hit me. All too often, we overlook the fact that even though we may let our connection and consideration … [Read more...]

A Mother’s Wish

As my daughter approaches her first year I am astonished, mystified, bewildered (insert every adjective you can think of!) at how quickly time has passed.  Everyone tells you and everyone warns you but nothing prepares you for how quickly time races by once you have a child.  Looking back now I sometimes wonder if I wished my daughter through her first year and somehow wished the time away. When I was up every 2 hours to nurse my daughter, I wished she would sleep 6 hours straight.  Now looking … [Read more...]

How Can We Live?

The news of the unrest and violence in Egypt is inescapable. Much of the it has unfolded in full view of video cameras. I have seen bodies piled in the mosques, I have seen a woman in niqab shot to death by a sniper, I have seen grown men weeping over the bodies of their fallen sons. It is a tragedy on every level and it seems to be something that will not be resolved soon.A friend of mine asked today how one can cope with life in the face of such tragedy. Let's not forget, Egypt is only the … [Read more...]


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