Let’s co-opt “Heterosexual Awareness Month”

So some assholes on Facebook have declared July “Heterosexual Awareness Month”:

Fred Clark has a brilliant suggestion on what to do with this:

But this might still do some good.

From the owners of Hobby Lobby to the president of Wheaton College, if there’s one thing heterosexuals have been demonstrating lately it’s a massive lack of awareness of heterosexuality — or at least of how heterosexual sex actually works.

So even if this Heterosexual Awareness Month event was only dreamed up as another chance for privileged chauvinists to punch-down at everyone else, perhaps it will serve a real purpose too. (Probably not.)

Unfortunately, Clark doesn’t expand on his idea. But it’s easy to imagine how to do so. “It’s a common myth that heterosexuals only have vaginal sex in the missionary position. [Okay most people know that's wrong but this is satire we're doing here.] In fact, heterosexual sex includes a wide range of sexual practices including [blah blah blah]. Did you know that a majority of the people who have anal sex are heterosexual?”

The month could also be used to highlight political issues that are important to heterosexuals–only without using “heterosexual” as code for “anti-gay bigot.” Instead, I’m thinking of Dan Savage’s comment that “The right-wingers and the fundies and the sex-phobes don’t just have it in for the queers. They’re coming for your asses too.”

Therefore, I propose co-opting “Heterosexual Awareness Month” to raise awareness not only about how heterosexual sex actually works, but also about the difficulty heterosexual women have accessing abortion, efforts to deny contraception to heterosexuals, and similar important political issues.

 


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