Let’s co-opt “Heterosexual Awareness Month”

So some assholes on Facebook have declared July “Heterosexual Awareness Month”:

Fred Clark has a brilliant suggestion on what to do with this:

But this might still do some good.

From the owners of Hobby Lobby to the president of Wheaton College, if there’s one thing heterosexuals have been demonstrating lately it’s a massive lack of awareness of heterosexuality — or at least of how heterosexual sex actually works.

So even if this Heterosexual Awareness Month event was only dreamed up as another chance for privileged chauvinists to punch-down at everyone else, perhaps it will serve a real purpose too. (Probably not.)

Unfortunately, Clark doesn’t expand on his idea. But it’s easy to imagine how to do so. “It’s a common myth that heterosexuals only have vaginal sex in the missionary position. [Okay most people know that's wrong but this is satire we're doing here.] In fact, heterosexual sex includes a wide range of sexual practices including [blah blah blah]. Did you know that a majority of the people who have anal sex are heterosexual?”

The month could also be used to highlight political issues that are important to heterosexuals–only without using “heterosexual” as code for “anti-gay bigot.” Instead, I’m thinking of Dan Savage’s comment that “The right-wingers and the fundies and the sex-phobes don’t just have it in for the queers. They’re coming for your asses too.”

Therefore, I propose co-opting “Heterosexual Awareness Month” to raise awareness not only about how heterosexual sex actually works, but also about the difficulty heterosexual women have accessing abortion, efforts to deny contraception to heterosexuals, and similar important political issues.

 

  • http://thebronzeblog.wordpress.com/ Bronze Dog

    One idea: Accuse the fundies of “stealing” heterosexuality to define it and thus pervert it. Can probably fit some feminism in there: “REAL heterosexuals want to be on equal terms with their partners.”

  • MNb

    I think the heterosexual awareness month a great idea. Here I go.
    I’m white, male and straight. Soon after I became aware of this (more than 30 years ago) I also realized that the missionary position is not for me – I get cramps in my legs. A few years later yet (my first relationship had failed) I also realized that being straight and all I found it much easier to deal with attractive gays than with attractive straight women (lesbo’s never have been a problem either – much easier to deal with them as soon as I get the sex issue out of my head).
    Around the same time I became aware that equal rights was very beneficial for me as a white, straight male. The idea of a housewife, who has nothing to talk about but the pots and the pans, parasitizes on the money I have to bring in by working hard for too many hours a week and is not capable of taking responsibility for the important decisions of life rapidly became utterly unattractive. What’s more, I’m a danger on the road and letting me drive a car is spelling for disaster.
    A strong, independent, well informed female counterpart who earns money too, that’s what I need. Thus I will have more time for my enjoyable silly occupations, like music, chess and following blogs like the Uncredible Hallq.
    I had to emigrate to find me such a woman, but it was more than worth it.
    Obviously I can’t be sure if I’m a feminist. I support equal right for selfish reasons, reasons I am very aware of. Fundies are a threat to me in this respect.
    And I suspect this might apply to many more hetero’s, especially all those who don’t want to be strong (whatever that means) all the time.

  • MikeN

    T-shirt: I Support Heterosexual Awareness Month.
    I Believe in Allowing Heterosexual Marriage to Be Legal

  • MikeN

    Or: No Bigotry Against Heterosexuals
    Legalize Heterosexual Marriage