Silence in Adversity

Silence in Adversity June 30, 2016

There are a lot of hotbed issues in the world today.  Everywhere you look, online and in real life, you are likely to come across some discussion that, if you open your mouth and say the wrong thing, you are like to get attacked.

Transgender.  LGBTQIA.  Gun laws.  Rape culture.  War.  Patriarchy.  Feminism.  Vaccinations.  Abortion.  Sex education.  Religion. Politics.  Racism.  Cultural Appropriation.

So much more.

These are big issues.  They get discussed a lot.  But the problem does exist that if you say something that is even slightly questioning of one side or the other, on any of these issues, if you express any doubt or confusion – you’re a bigot, or a freak or worthy of death and hellfire or racist or… the list goes on.

Why is this a problem?

Shush
public domain via wikimedia commoms

These issues are big and important and fraught with complications.  They are not easy to understand for some people, indeed for many people.  Even people who are avid supporters of something can express some confusion or doubt about small things within that something.

These are things I see sometimes.

“I support trans people, they can identify as who they want and should be able to do so without fear.  But whatever you do you can’t change your biology therefore a transwoman will never be a real woman.” Boom, trans hater! Bigot! Right wing terrorist!

“I support gay people, and gay marriage.  But I still think sexuality is a choice and not something you are born with.”  Homophobe! Bigot!

“Children should be taught about sex and contraception, safe sex and sexual health so they don’t develop any sexual hangups.”  Paedophile! Burn in hell!

How do you feel about the above statements?  Do they upset you, anger you or offend you?  Why?

Do you think it could be possible for a gay person to believe they aren’t born that way, that it’s a choice?  Would you tell them they are a homophobe?  Some trans people believe they will never be truly the sex they need to be… Are they bigots?

The thing is, one can fully support a cause, a person, a group of people without actually agreeing with everything they say and believe.  Doubting or holding a firm opposing opinion about one issue in a series of complex issues, does not equal being opposed to the entire series of complex issues at hand.

I disagree with a lot of things that a lot of people say.  I disagree with the things my loved ones say.  Does it mean I do not support them and love them? No.  It really doesn’t.

People are too quick to assume the worst in the people around them.  Express any doubt and you will be shot down in flames.  And you will be in the wrong, according to the world.  Because you expressed doubt.  But it’s okay that everyone has made assumptions about you, accused you of hating people you do not hate, accusing you of being things you are not.  That’s okay.  But your little bit of doubt or disagreement.  Burn in hell you evil monster!

Beyond this though, when someone expresses confusion on an issue, how do you think they will learn the truth you would wish for them to learn, if you stamp your feet and scream expletives and insults at them?

Not everyone is receptive to courteous discourse and debate, of course not.  But there are many out there right now, keeping silent, hiding their doubts and confusion because they have seen what happens to those who ask questions that seem a little tiny bit “wrong”.

The world is loud with the screams of the offended and hateful.  The world is loud with those fighting for their causes.

But there in your bold shadows are the silent ones who do not understand, because they can’t hear any truth through all the screaming.  There in the corner are the ones whispering in their heads, scared to express their doubt and learn the truths they need to learn, because no one is willing to listen and answer.  Your screams push the silent ones down.

The silent ones are the ones who could give you the best support, even in their doubts they could support you.  Because of their doubts they would be your best supporters, because they can show the world that it’s okay to disagree.  It is okay and it is possible to do so without judgement, to disagree with only love and support.  The silent ones are the people you need.

But you scream them down.

You make them afraid.

And they stay silent.

And the world will never learn.


 

Please note, this post was actually written several days ago, before that now deleted post by Erick DuPree was published. Thus, while this does perhaps tie into that issue and is related, it is in no way to be considered a response to that specific issue here on Patheos Pagan.  In this post I am speaking of the silent ones, the people who are too scared to raise their doubts and questions, to raise what are understandable points.  I am not speaking of direct opposition, nor of giving direct opposition a platform, which are different, though related issues.


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