Pope Dreams Teens Wrote Much Of Bible

Sometimes teenagers lead the way to much higher truths.

A (fake?) story is circulating that in a recent dream the Pope saw the original scripture writers in the act.

Modern biblical scholarship declares that we do not know who wrote most of the biblical books. Dozens of biblical authors are in fact anonymous despite names attached to these books. And now the world may learn the true identities of the Bible’s authors.

As per the (fake?) story:

Dreaming in the thick of combed cotton sheets, the Pope saw a girl of about nineteen with long matted black hair dangling into her blue eyes. She stood over a wooden table. Her fingers were discolored to the first knuckle by gray ink. Fighting with and cursing at curled papyrus, she bore down upon the page with the weight of her arm.

The Pope looked over this poet’s shoulder as she scraped Egyptian reed with an inked up, bent, dry bone and offered a passage the Pope recognized from the book of Isaiah. Was this girl Isaiah?

Shower you heaven from above!

Let the skies rain righteousness!

Let the earth open!

Let recovery spring like shoots!

Next, and all of a sudden, the Pope saw a different girl, about seventeen, left-handed, with smooth features and a likable face. She wore a sleeveless covering and tiny flowered vines woven into long braided hair. She wrote on papyrus held down by burnt-red bricks. She sang the words as she wrote them down:

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made.

By the breath of his mouth all of their hosts.

For he spoke and it was done,

He commanded and it stood fast.

He gathers together the sea as a heap,

In storehouses he lays up the deeps.

For he spoke and it was done,

He commanded and it stood fast.

Let all the earth be fearing the Lord,

Let those of the world stand before him in awe.

For he spoke and it was done,

He commanded and it stood fast.

This passage was later collected into the book of Psalms, though this girl never knew it. She sang that melody (also her creation) for twenty-five years in the village of Gibeah, not far from Jerusalem. Her children learned it from her.

Next in the dream, a boy, perhaps sixteen, shirtless and sitting beneath a vachellia tree that was yellow in full blossom, was writing on a page of taut ivory vellum:

Happy are the poor!

You have the kingdom of heaven!

Happy are the gentle!

The earth is your prize!

Happy are the pure of heart!

You are seeing God!

And so it was, over and over again in a papal dream. In every instance of sumptuous language and humane thought mere children composed the words. Boys and girls. Artful. Able. Unknown. Never-known fabulists.

The Pope saw it all in a dream.

As the dream continued in another vein, the Pope watched a dictating angel named Ariel reveal words of God to yet other bible writers.

There was an interesting aspect of sacred writing that the Pope could plainly detect.

Sacred writers lived at different times and in distinct places, but Ariel spoke to each of them as if they were all within her drowsy grasp, footsteps apart. Ariel pressed her mouth close to the writers’ ears, almost to the point of kissing them.

Into the ear of Hosea Ariel whispered:

Genus alone like cherubim

Filamentous cloud, cirrus

Ripple rows—halos

’round sun and moon and star

Loftier than Belukha or Annapurna or Everest

Into the ear of Jeremiah Ariel whispered:

Palingenesis in streams

Diverging converging channels

Ripple rows—copious flow

’round a round earth

Pale Amur and Yangtze and Nile

Into the ear of Ezekiel Ariel whispered:

Rare earthen cache

Linden lineal heart

Laden molten golden ash

Ripple rows—furrows

’round glacial warmth

Out-expanse continental mass

But looking over the shoulders of these sacred secretaries, the Pope could plainly see that the words written were not the words dictated by Ariel.

This amused the Pope.

But there was a worrying aspect to sacred writing when the sacred scribes were not  teenagers but were old people.  Inhumane passages found their way into scripture, passages seeming to delight in violence, sentences oozing  with intolerance.

These passages, the Pope plainly saw in the dream, were not dictated by Ariel at all but by the rebel angel Azazel, whispering vile nothings into old people’s ears.

The Pope awoke and made a quick entry in a dream journal.

In the days that followed this night of dreaming, as the (fake?) story goes, the Pope began thinking of publishing everything that was seen in the dream, everything about  heretofore anonymous biblical authors. Yes, the Pope wanted to announce what the dreams had unveiled.

A new encyclical is in the making, says a (fake?) rumor. Its working title may be roughly translated from the Latin as, ‘Why A Child May Lead Us Further From Temptation.’

 

Featured image ‘National Student Walkout’ by Victoria Pickering via Flickr

 

 

 

 

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