I’m not much of a romantic. I don’t, for instance, remember important dates like my first date with my husband. I know it was late-May-ish, and i know that it was 10 years ago. Suddenly, today, i turn the page to June, and realize that we’ve missed our 10-year date-iversary. I may not be a romantic. But, that kind of bums me out. (Luckily, he is not such a romantic either, so neither of us is in trouble…)
Since we didn’t get to go on a special date to mark the day(ish), I’ll do a blog-world shout out. Marriage is a crap-shoot, people. You’ve got to know yourself and love yourself before you can really know or love another person–if that is in place, and you’re pretty sure you’ve found a good deal, you’ll probably be ok. Probably. And even if those things aren’t in place, you might luck out. Might. You think somebody will be a good parent… you hope they will age well and not get too terribly fat. You believe that they can weather life’s challenges without turning into some charicature of Kevin Spacey in that cheerleader movie. But life happens, things and people change…ultimately, it can go either way. Luckily, I married a man who can half-bake a burger.
He was grilling the other day, and came in with a barely-browned plate of burgers. “yeah…we’re out of gas,” he says. Had it been me, my thoughts would have been to a) toss them and order pizza (=waste, and unnecessary expense); b) run out and get another tank of gas (=waste of a leisurely holiday evening at home or c) throw them in a skillet (=hocky puck burgers that we would have felt the need to eat anyway).
The half-baked approach to life is simple genius, really. You start with what you know, and when that comes up short, you try something else. You try what nobody else is doing, because sometimes, everybody else missed something.
Maybe it’s because i’m in “transforming church” mode that i can see both a sermon and a love letter in a mostly raw burger. But our struggling communities of faith would do well to adopt this half-baked approach. Start with what we know. When that doesn’t work, hold onto what is good and beautiful from our past, and let the rest go. Did you know that “All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name” is really killer with drums behind it? Me neither. But i’m married to a guy who thought to try it because…well, why not?
To me, this is the nature of ministry, marriage, parenting, cooking, writing, or just being a person in the world. Start with what you know…but be watching for the moment when the reserve tank runs out on “what you know” and “the way we’ve always done it.” Be ready to half-bake something that ought to be grilled. Might be the best burger you’ve ever had. Or at least the best risk you ever took.
Happy 10 years(ish) to my rock-star, iron chef, super dad, national-park-roaming, always-a-party, making-it-work-Tim Gunn-style partner. Love came walkin in…