How Trump is Making Misogyny Great Again

Last week, women’s health experts and other commentators detailed the “abusive behaviors” exhibited in Trump’s debate performance. And all the lights came on. So THIS is why he’s so hard to watch, I thought. This is why our stomachs turn when he talks; when he belittles opponents and unleashes verbal tirades and refuses to stay on topic. He’s not just unpleasant. He is a predator. And any woman who’s ever been in an abusive relationship–physical or otherwise–can see it a mile away.

So when the tapes were released yesterday–the ones in which Trump and  Billy Bush say some appalling things about women–it was no surprise. We’ve known this is who he is. Also not surprising was his ‘sorry-not-sorry’ sort of apology. The one that basically says boys will be boys and dumb bitches can’t take a joke. Typical Trumpiness.

Even after these two recent revelations, I don’t have much to say about Trump himself that I haven’t already said. But still, I posted the thing about the “moving on her like a bitch” and “you can do anything you want when you’re famous” and the “grab ‘em by the pussy” remarks, because there are deeper issues here than just the guy running for President.

While I don’t have anything to say about him that I haven’t said before, I would like to share with you my foray into the world of his followers. Because it is a dark, angry, woman-hating place. And we need to shed some light on it, unless we want to find ourselves dwelling there for eternity.

Here’s how I found myself spending a Friday evening with a Basket of Deplorables: After following mutliple social media threads about this latest implosion of misogyny, I started to see a common thread…The people defending him, from famous people to friends of mine to HIGH PROFILE CHRISTIAN LEADERS (do not get me started) had the same unconscionable defense: all men talk like this about women.

And, it occurred to me, that in some people’s worlds that is true. I was deeply saddened and angered by that truth, so I tweeted the following:

If you believe "that's how all men talk," then might I suggest you need an upgrade of the men in your life. #TrumpTapes #rapeculture

— erin wathen (@iRreverin) October 8, 2016

And the trolls started rolling in.

Over the next hour, I got called the following:

Ignorant

Idiot

“Woman”

Sweetheart

FemiNazi 

Hysterical Loon

Bitch

I also got told to shut up. As women do, who say things. There were also suggestions about my obvious lack of sexual opportunity/experience/enjoyment, if no man has ever talked to me like that before. It was suggested that my Friday night involved 9 cats and a tub of ice cream. It went on like that for awhile. 

At some point, I went to bed. And woke up this morning to an even longer list of new titles I can add to my resume. I blocked the guy who called me a bitch. I also blocked a guy whose Twitter handle is @TwatSlayer, whose mother I’m sure is so proud of her baby boy.

But this is not all. The underlying message of all these Tweets was an insistence that, yes, all men DO talk like that. Which makes it ok, which makes me an ignorant, hysterical female for expecting otherwise. Meanwhile, the men who commented in agreement or support of me were called:

Pussies

not real men

gay

Lapdogs

And, my favorite, “whimps” (Note: sexist trolls LOVE it when you correct their spelling or grammar. Try it sometime).

I’m preaching to the choir here, but it needs to be said in the light of day: There is a big difference in being crude, in a locker room kind of way; and being predatory, in an “I take what I want and bitches just roll over” kind of way. Those who don’t know where that line is, fall into the latter category; and lots of predator types outed themselves last night when they insisted, for all the world to see, that “all men” talk like this.

Truth is, the names I got called last night are no more than women bloggers, TV personalities and political leaders of higher profile get called on a daily basis. But it was a frightening glimpse into the underworld of men who support Trump, not in spite of his treatment of women…but because of it.

You can tell me that not all Trump supporters are like this, and I almost believe that. Folks have many reasons, however misguided they may seem, for supporting this monster of a man.

But at this point, a vote for Trump, for any reason, is a step towards a dangerous normalizing of more than just casual “locker room” banter. It is an affirmation of rape culture, sexual assault, and the kind of male entitlement that, until a few decades ago, kept women from even having a voice in the election. Those days are not so long past. And it would not take much to put us back in those dark ages, Susan B. Anthony forgive us.

Make no mistake–there may be some other kinds of voices voting for Trump, but the men I heard from last night are his target demographic. The middle-of-the-night Tweeters, who know their discourse is not fit for daylight; the secretly terrified bullies who use big scary words (frequently misspelled) to make themselves feel powerful; and the predators who hide behind their computer screens by night, but make themselves known to us in a thousand other ways once they venture into the public sphere.

Just as the Trump campaign has normalized and affirmed the kind of overt racism that had previously been relegated to the darker corners of polite society, his public performance makes it clear that overt sexism has never really left us…it’s just been wearing a nice suit.