Irreverin
Advent 1, Word #2 — shift.
I’m trying this thing again, where I blog every (week)day during Advent. The past few years I haven’t been able to do it, because I was completely overwhelmed with other things. Moving/transition things, kid things, stressful things, churchy things, you name it. All the things. I always try to be intentional about not letting December get away from me, but lately, I’ve failed miserably. This year, I might just pull it off.
This year, we all need a pause. We need to breathe into the mystery of this waiting space. We need our hope restored, our human connections healed, and our purpose renewed. I’m sharing a few of the ways that I reclaimed such a space for myself, in hopes that it might help you do the same. Because if God is going to do a new thing in the world–in us–then we’re going to have to shift and make some room.
1. Simplify. Less stuff. Less clutter. Less time, energy and money spent chasing bargains, the new gadget, the very perfect thing for every person you know. It is a trendy thing right now to simplify life, space and purchases–so I’ll not be the first person to tell you that your kids don’t need 10 presents each; that you need not splurge on a luxury item for every cousin; and that experiences make better gifts than stuff most of the time anyway. I’ll not be the first person to say it, but it cannot be overstated. You do not have to spend this whole month at the mall. I do almost all of my shopping online on Black Friday and/or cyber Monday, then I’m done. I may pick up a few gift cards or put together gift baskets with favorites from the grocery store, but I do not plan to darken the door of a big box store until mid-January. I can already breathe a little easier knowing that I don’t have to fight the suburban Santa mania. (Note: with this practice comes less credit card stress come January. Win-win). Here is my favorite list of non-toy gifts for kids; and some of these ideas are great for grown-ups too.
2. Plan ahead. The real reason my last few Decembers have felt so manic? Because some cruel trick of the liturgical calendar puts Advent right on the heels of stewardship/pledge drive season. Mercy. This is a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. In church we tend to think that pledges need to be handed in around Thanksgiving, some ritualized “bringing in the sheaves” kind of situation. While that’s a great idea in theory, it means your clergy and your finance folks spend the last weeks of the year frantically crunching numbers, tracking down errant pledge cards, and generally trying to make everything work on paper. This is important work, but having it happen on top of the other activities and events of the season is, did I mention? a bad idea. This year, we started everything earlier, we finished everything earlier, we brought in the sheaves way before we had turkey, and now it is November 29 and everything is pretty chill around here. We have even cancelled many of our December meetings (or replaced them with parties). I highly recommend it. And you know, this is not just a problem of the church calendar, but the regular one as well. The end of the fiscal year means a great reckoning: for households, businesses, nonprofits and corporations. It can be a fraught season. In whatever way you can, shift some of that end-of-year activity (and anxiety) to another frame.
3. Say “no” sometimes. It all sounds like such fun… but truly, you don’t have to go to every gathering to which you’re invited. You love your high school friends, your co-workers, your kids’ karate friends, your college buddies, your book club buddies and your church family. You want to spend time with all those people. It’s important. But why have we made everything so holiday important–giving each gathering extra weight just because of its proximity to a Christmas tree? When you start feeling over-booked, just say no. Or if it’s your shindig, let another holiday be THE holiday. My clergy friends in Arizona used to do an Epiphany party–a time for pastors to get together AFTER all the high drama, I mean holy days, have passed. This extends the celebration, and give everybody a breather. However you shake it, be intentional with your time right now. Go to the things that are important, meaningful, and will give you joy. Let the rest go.
4. Shift expectations. Let things be what they are, and not the Norman Rockwell/Clark Griswold picture you may have in your head. Dwell in the present and not in nostalgia. You will avoid a great deal of expense, heartache and family drama. Not to mention, you will be far more likely to find joy and meaning in what is.
5. Turn outward. When we find ourselves frantic to just fit everything in/get everything done/buy one of everything, then our impulse is to turn inward. We live small and tired and find ourselves in survival mode, nesting in for the winter. But this is a season for embodied love; hope that is active and word made flesh. Whatever else we have to let go, now is the time to make room for more serving the poor, more connecting with our neighbor, more active waiting. Engage the world…and see what else might change around you.
What will you do with the extra time, space, or money that you find in the shift?
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