How to Write That Apology Letter to Your Grandchildren

How to Write That Apology Letter to Your Grandchildren June 2, 2017

Lately my kids have been into the “silly sentences” activities in their National Geographic Kids magazine. It’s pretty much a take on Mad Libs, for all of us GenX kids who are parents now. Which got me to thinking… Lots of folks these days might need help justifying their support for a certain sitting president. They may or may not start thinking about what kind of message they’d like to leave for their grandchildren. I’m here to help. Just fill in the blanks.

Dear (Name of Progeny),

By the time you read this, I’ll be  (state of being or non-being)  .  And you, I’m afraid, will be living in a world much like in that  (YA dystopian Sci-Fi series)   you used to like to read. If you’re finding that it’s hard to get clean water, or breathe the air without coughing, or   (other function necessary to survival)  , I hope you can someday forgive me. I’m truly  (feeling of significant remorse)   for my short-sightedness in voting for Donald Trump. I’m sure you have a great deal of  (extremely negative sentiment)  for me. Let me explain some of what was happening at that time.

First of all, I truly thought he would be the one to stop all of the   (politically correct nonsense of choice)    so that we could all just get back to   (white privilege activity)  in peace. You have to understand that many of us truly believed climate change was a hoax created by  (liberals, China, the gays, etc) , so that they could succeed in (fabricated alarmist narrative). We thought removing those environmental regulations would create jobs in   (antiquated industry ) and restore the economy. How could we have known that destroying all of our natural resources would be bad for the economy??

Oh, and about  (favorite National Park) I hope that you will remember the wonderful trips we took there when you were little, and tell your kids about what it was like, for awhile, to have beautiful wilderness spaces that were protected from drilling and mining and the building of strip malls. I truly never dreamed they would put a  (fast food or retail chain)   in the middle of  (historic or geographic landmark) . I can remember the days when most towns had one grocery store, and one restaurant, and maybe a department store for the whole county. Things just started moving really quickly at some point, and we did not know how to slow it down. It’s funny, because we always thought you young people were the ones moving too fast…

Anyway, I don’t know if you’re reading this in a bunker, or a cave, or by the light of a sun that has decided to burn us all to dust. I don’t know if there’s still baseball, or summer camp, or   (sign of civilization) . I don’t know if you’re reading this on crumbling paper, or some electronic device that has not yet been invented. But I do hope you will spare a thought for your elders, and understand that we didn’t know what we didn’t know. If we had it to do over again, we would ban reality television from the get-go, as well as that whole unfortunate   (trend signifying the downfall of civilization)    thing.  For all the ways we screwed you over, we loved you in our own way.

At the very the least, we left you our cassette and VHS collections. Maybe those will come in handy if that whole colonizing   (alien planet)  thing ever works out. Til then, remember that I taught you to (grandparent-ly wisdom or activity), and try to forgive me for the (uninhabitable climate or landscape)  you inherit now.                                        

Love and Kisses,

    (Grandma, PaPaw, Mimi, G-Daddy, Gigi, et al)    

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