Re-imagining the Trinity

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 "She referenced the Trinity as Life-giver, Pain-bearer, and Love maker."Last Sunday was “Trinity Sunday” in the Episcopal church.  I’m not quite sure why this doctrine gets its own Sunday. Perhaps it is because it inspired jolly old St. Nicholas to punch another guy in the nose.  I have never felt particularly connected to the importance of the Trinity, especially since it is a construct we came up with more than a overtly Biblical  teaching. But I was intrigued by a particular naming offer … [Read more...]

Not the Lent I intended

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Some years, we elect our Lenten discipline, thoughtfully chosen to strategically open or soften parts of our hearts that feel more like stone than like flesh.This year my heart got a different kind of  journey than I had plotted.The Lent I had planned included a series of 40 reflections, 31 already thought through and outlined…. All focused on feminine spirituality and why we as church seem determined to avoid this reality of gender different spirituality in favor of being insistent on th … [Read more...]

Repentance redefined: Giving up exhaustion and opening to change

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Day 4: Repentance redefined: Giving up exhaustion and opening to change “exhaustion was not fertile soil for growth and change” We had been meeting for about two years when my directee said to me: “You know the most helpful thing you’ve said to me since we’ve been meeting is “God is not in favor of exhaustion.”” As a woman who struggles with over-work, conversation about balance and spiritual practice were a large part of our conversations together.  But it wasn’t until we began to talk about … [Read more...]

Messy and connected

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“If I don’t know how to connect in my mess, I miss a lot of loving. “ It is an odd moment to be a favorite.But it’s mine.My favorite liturgical moment of the church year happens today, Ash Wednesday, in the middle of the service. It is the moment when I exchange the peace of Christ with my neighbors in the midst of ashes on my head and theirs.It is an experience somewhat foreign to me: connection in the middle of mess.For most of my life, I lived in the context of a faith traditi … [Read more...]

“M” is for mystery and for mystic

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"The more I listened, the more I recognized within myself a deep hunger to be more aware of the Mystery all around me." I don’t know why it is that when I attempt to meditate, my mind resorts to Dr. Seuss. It has been more than 30 years since I was first read Dr. Seuss’s ABCs to our son, but it is still stuck deep in the crevasses of my neural folds. Big “A” little “a”, what begins with “A”? Aunt Annie’s alligator “A”, “A”, “A.” Big “B” little “b” what begins with “B”?  Barber, baby, bubbles, … [Read more...]

A Holy Rant

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Why is it that most Christians assume that spirituality is a unisex reality?Why have I, in 55 years of church attendance, never heard a sermon on gender differences in spirituality and only one that even acknowledged it as real (thanks Bob C.)?Why is it that in a culture where we talk more and more about gender difference in how we shop and have heart attacks and think, we neglect to talk about how we experience God differently?Why is there not a course in gender different … [Read more...]

How can darkness be light?

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 "the night will shine like the day," I love Epiphany. … the celebration of light.After the feast of love our family enjoyed this Christmas together, it makes letting go again a little easier.Though many celebrate Epiphany only as a day, I prefer to think of it as a season.I fill my mantle with candles, even a fairly over-the top candelabra my husband hates that I save for this season every year (sorry, honey). Who wouldn’t want to celebrate light?  I have a friend … [Read more...]

Meeting myself again for the first time

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Something is up.  I’m not sure what, but something is up. I just get the feeling.Maybe it’s Jesus’ wisdom “To whom much is given, much is required.” (Luke 12:48)I love my work right now; it is a gift. Yet, the question rises: what might be shifting?I love my husband of 33 years. He is a gift. Is my marriage changing,too?I love our children and new granddaughter.  They are gifts. How can I love them better?Interestingly, this trip is a gift that my work and calling have given m … [Read more...]

Ungodly contentment

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"So many women spend their lives playing small. I call it ungodly contentment. "It's funny how adept we are as humans at turning something helpful and good into something less than helpful.  Contentment is one of those characteristics that can be a quality of spiritual maturity, or it can be a sign of our refusal to grow up. Though likely just a teen, Mary seemed amazingly mature as she let go of contentment and opened to something new and "troubling." This is how I write about it My Own … [Read more...]

Self-compassion and insight

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"when I am safe for myself, doors of insight tend to open."As I have said often, my optimum life pace is about 30-35 mph.  I don’t know why it helps me to express it in mph units, but it does. Now, that’s not my maximum pace, just my optimum pace, the speed at which I can be most present to my life, making forward progress but not missing the freedom to take in and enjoy all I see along the way.  This is also the pace at which my traction is greatest, where all my strokes count, where risk an … [Read more...]


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