Self-compassion and regret

IMG_0487

"I have learned from wiktionary that regret is just intense grief"I’ve had more than one run in with the painful emotion of regret this week.I said some unkind words of judgment that I wanted to take back shortly after they came off my tongue. I unnecessarily criticized a very valid approach in a conversation with a colleague because I had another strategy. I remained silent when I should have spoken up as my husband and I were considering a sales pitch…. We bought the product and bo … [Read more...]

Self-compassion and limitations

Georgia

"The moments when we meet our limitations are often the times when we struggle the most with self-compassion."It has been an exciting week in the Davis household.On Tuesday, we welcomed our first grand child, Georgia Lynn Burleson-Davis.  Isn’t she beautiful? Though 3 weeks earlier than we anticipated, her birth went marvelously well and her parents are taking spectacular care of her… so my husband and I are trying to support them in their many sleepless nights with meals and a few ho … [Read more...]

Self-compassion: sorting guilt and shame

the vine

“Self-compassion is an extension of Jesus’ compassion…” In my life and work, one of the most helpful pieces of Brene Brown’s work is the way she distinguished guilt and shame. Guilt says: I’ve done a bad thing. It is behavior focused.  It is positively correlated with healthy change. Self is not threatened so it does not need to be defensive. Shame says: I am bad. It is personhood focused.  It is positively correlated with self-destructive behavior. Self is threatened so often goes into defens … [Read more...]

How to love a fool

grackle

"When we live in close relationship with fools, so often we take on their shame as if it were our own." I’ve spoken with a lot of folks lately who are suffering greatly as they try to figure out what it means to love someone caught in foolishness.  Some are dealing with addictions (of all sorts). Some with long-standing and destructive generational patterns. Some are even trying to find better ways of relating to the foolish parts within themselves. It is a tricky reality because so often fo … [Read more...]

God’s love: the source of self-compassion

yellow rose

“Self-compassion allows us to access a safe space of love and belonging in the midst of our imperfection because it is sourced in a Love beyond ourselves.” My own journey toward self-compassion began with a simple observation from a passage of scripture I’ve known for a long time:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we our … [Read more...]

Subtle shaming

quaka

"He subtly shamed her deeply held desire for a child even as he sought to elevate the power of his love in her life. " When I read the stories of women in Scripture, I often listen to my internal responses as a way of listening to the story.  For example, in Hannah’s story (1 Samuel 1), I would always cringe when I read Elkanah’s response to Hannah’s weeping.  So, a few years ago, I stopped and listened there for a while, trying to unpack the very complex and swirling relational dynamics as best … [Read more...]


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