Self-compassion and resistance

camellia

"We tend to believe that we welcome compassion; that the world could never have enough.  At the same time, we often resist compassion,..."She was my first introduction to these thoughts on our resistance to compassion.  I have to admit that every time I read the words of this early review of my most recent book, My Own Worst Enemy, I still flinch. “Out of everything that I disagreed with the most in this book I can't complete this review without stating that adultery is NEVER okay. Yo … [Read more...]

A ponder-less people

labyrinth leaf

“Wisdom does not come to us in snippets and sound bites but instead in deep rhythms to be revealed and discovered as we ponder and seek. “I was visiting this week with my mom who has dementia.  It is interesting and sad to notice that her responses to questions are increasingly disconnected from reality. Her brain’s process of sorting and seeking real-time data in response to a question have become so slow that she simply offers an answer, nabbed somewhere from the recesses of her mind.   … [Read more...]

Positive change, negative response

hard things

"If we can muster the courage for the initial choice, we expect affirmation and blessing." It is a moment of being invited to grow up.  It is usually an unwelcome invitation.When we make a difficult but wise choice, something in us expects that the world will rise up and bless us.And sometimes that does happen: Mary’s sign from the angel was Elizabeth’s encouraging proclamation.But sometimes… not so much.We are looking for affirmation and we get complaint. It happened to Mary of … [Read more...]

How to love a fool

grackle

"When we live in close relationship with fools, so often we take on their shame as if it were our own." I’ve spoken with a lot of folks lately who are suffering greatly as they try to figure out what it means to love someone caught in foolishness.  Some are dealing with addictions (of all sorts). Some with long-standing and destructive generational patterns. Some are even trying to find better ways of relating to the foolish parts within themselves. It is a tricky reality because so often fo … [Read more...]

God’s love: the source of self-compassion

yellow rose

“Self-compassion allows us to access a safe space of love and belonging in the midst of our imperfection because it is sourced in a Love beyond ourselves.” My own journey toward self-compassion began with a simple observation from a passage of scripture I’ve known for a long time:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we our … [Read more...]

Subtle shaming

quaka

"He subtly shamed her deeply held desire for a child even as he sought to elevate the power of his love in her life. " When I read the stories of women in Scripture, I often listen to my internal responses as a way of listening to the story.  For example, in Hannah’s story (1 Samuel 1), I would always cringe when I read Elkanah’s response to Hannah’s weeping.  So, a few years ago, I stopped and listened there for a while, trying to unpack the very complex and swirling relational dynamics as best … [Read more...]

Let’s hear it for the sheep!

AU birds

“I cannot help but be cautious about structural power in the context of a kingdom that routinely “flips the script.”   I get it.  Really I do.  I have close friends who have known untold pain because they have been denied the opportunity to use their gifts and exercise their callings within official capacities in the church. When I worked as a hospital chaplain, I myself was kicked out of a hospital room or two simply based on my gender alone.  The passages of Scripture addressing these is … [Read more...]

Uni-sex spirituality?

elegance in yellow jd

“Though the church may have missed noticing gender different spirituality, God had not missed writing it into that ancient sacred book.”Many of us in the Christian world grow up with an assumption of a unisex spirituality. Though we readily admit that men and women are different biologically and psychologically, we often stop there in our thinking.  In 54 years in church, I’ve never heard a sermon on gender different spirituality.If we do think further, sometimes we realize that the forms … [Read more...]

A different conversation

persistence jd

"Let’s talk stories. My guess is that we all have a story of a woman whose leadership or teaching has changed our lives."There seems to be a lot out there in the blogosphere on women and leadership these days. Thankfully the tenor seems to be transitioning from the polarizing extremes to some very thoughtful discourse. Rachel Held Evans Harriet Congdon Julie Clawson For some reason though, I am realizing that the conversation being offered isn’t the one I’m most drawn to. … [Read more...]

Renaming myself

sprout

"Giving words and voice to ourselves allows us to step into our own lives more fully, to live more abundantly from our center." I find myself taking a new name today: blogger.Now that doesn’t mean I haven’t been blogging for a while now.  In fact, I want to offer a special welcome to all my Sister-friends who have been on this journey with me for sometime.  It is simply that I’ve never owned the name.  I have never paid enough attention to what I am doing to discover a new aspect of who I am … [Read more...]


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