What’s Wrong with BDSM Anyway?

Quick reminder: I write about adult topics.  If your kid reads my blog, your kid is traveling in grown-up land.Way back a year-and-some ago when I wrote a Christian primer on BDSM, a reader complained, and I paraphrase: She never explained why BDSM was wrong!  She just assumed that it was!Today is the day I fill in that blank.  Before you begin reading, please refer to the original post for important background info on what BDSM is and how disorders of arousal fit into the moral life … [Read more...]

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Sexual Bravado vs. Sexual Maturity

My 8th grader was describing an acquaintance of the same age, and I paraphrase: Her rallying cry is, "Let's go f*** some sh** up!"  She says never posts *full* nudes of herself, so it's okay.  She's obsessed with having a boyfriend, and she keeps asking me what it's like to actually talk to a boy. This is the middle school narrative: If you sext, brandish vulgar language, and organize your life around the quest for a boyfriend, you're the sophisticated one -- even if you've never had a real c … [Read more...]

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Whom Does Modesty Serve?

I've got sex on the brain, and before I start into that conversation, I want to lay out a few comments about the limits of modesty.Here's a quick working definition: With respect to chastity, modesty is the collection of actions we take in order to safeguard our purity.  Modesty includes not only the way we dress, but the way we interact with others.There are of course other areas where modesty applies -- with respect to our wealth, our accomplishments, and so forth.  For your homework, y … [Read more...]

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Do Girls’ Sports Even Matter? What to do with the Transgender Athlete

Rebecca Hamilton reports on the recent ruling by the Department of Education that girls' sports teams must now admit certain boys -- both to playing on the team and to the girls' locker room.  It's a problematic ruling on many levels, but to get our minds around the issues, we need to pull apart the different questions involved. 1. Girls like to play sports. I know that girls like sports because I can't think of a single female in my family that I ever met who didn't take an interest in sports … [Read more...]

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When You Want to Understand that Marriage Thing

Two links and a note:The best summary of the theology behind the Great Communion Debate of 2015 is over at Darwin Catholic. A snippet from the conclusion: Given all of that, to say that a divorced and remarried couple (unless they have decided to live together celibately) may receive communion necessarily means that you disagree with one of the following teachings of the Church:- That someone in grave sin may not receive the Eucharist - That having sex outside of marriage is a grave … [Read more...]

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Gender Stereotyping is the Hot New Thing

I was raised on the kind of feminism that was about rejecting false stereotypes.  Your hobbies, your tastes, your talents -- none of these are what defines you as "male" or "female."  You can be a girl who likes sports (curiously, both my grandmothers played high school sports in the 1930's -- but that was Catholic schools, so it was different than normal, I guess) and woodworking and car repair, and that doesn't make you less of a girl.Boys were likewise accorded the complementary rights, t … [Read more...]

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The Music that Shapes Your Brain and Your Soul

One of the favorite bogeymen of freedom-from-religion types is the dreaded Religious Reactionary.  By day she locks her children away in the log cabin, at night she snuggles under a hand-knit blanket while the wood stove cheerily burns all those books she's out to ban.In counter-reaction, some Christians work hard to prove their pop-culture bonafides -- thank God I'm not like that Pharisee over there.  Which brings us to Taylor Swift.I've never gone through the trouble of banning Taylor S … [Read more...]

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